Surviving in the Wild

Dating is tedious and bothersome! Why does it even exits? How come we have to deal with all the trash and emotions that surround the whole dating thang? Sometimes I just want to go up to a guy I find attractive, grab him by the ears, pull him close and *muah* right on the kisser. At Christmas we have mistletoe to help with this conundrum. Sadly, the rest of the year we are left to our own devices.

Unfortunately, my solution brings up another concern -- how can we be sure that the object of our affection reciprocates the sentiment? Suppose someone you knew were to simply say: "Hey, I think you're swell, would you like to go out sometime?" How would you react? I would be completely flattered (and, flabbergasted). Why can't we be this open all the time? I'll tell you why: Fear of rejection, my friend, fear of rejection. We are all so afraid that they'll laugh in our face, or worse, say yes, but secretly dread the whole experience. So, in the sprit of looking out for number one we simply bake them cookies and hope they get the hint.

Enough of this pathetic hint dropping! I herby declare that one day I shall muster up the courage to grab someone by the ears and lay one on him. Perhaps I’ll wait ‘til we’re married for that one, though.