Reasons to Drop Mr. Bland: A List

Sitting next to Bill on the air ride home last night I got to thinking about Mr. Bland, and how things are going there. I was thinking about wanting to call him after I got home and maybe hang out with him Sunday night. Then I got to thinking about why I wanted to hang out with him. Read on for an interesting thought map.

• Um, he's kinda boring, despite how interesting he should be.
  
• He's a dreadful kisser (though, in his defense, he is willing to learn).
  
• He's too nice. Which is a horrible reason, but I feel like I'd walk all over him.
  
• Superficially, he's cute, not hot. I like hot.
  
• He doesn't really 'do it' for me. Whatever 'it' is.
  
• I think I'm just using him to try to get over Bill—it isn't working.
  
• Right now, the only reason I want to see him this evening is to have someone to kiss on (see the next item for more on this).
  
• Probably the biggest reason of all: I just spent 5 days on a business trip with the boy I really want, and I'm contemplating calling dude just to get Bill out of my head.
  
• Lastly (this one was added after I called him), he'd rather watch some Will Ferrell movie than spend the evening with me. Heck, he'd rather watch Will Ferrell alone than with me. I'm not sure he's feeling it, either.

I wish I had a similar list for why I should hang on to him.