Because You're Single

One of my girlfriends told me the other day, "Granola, you're always talking about how single you are—and, I'm not saying anything—you might consider ldsmingle.com. Nanny has had great success, and it might work for you." (Nanny's engaged to a be married to a guy she met online in March next year.)

Excellent. Not only am I single, I should now be desperate. No, thanks, I'll pass. I don't mind being single, I do mind, however, advertising myself like so much of a commodity.