Insert Stupid Idiom Here

Bill was lamenting about a personal problem earlier this evening (the aforementioned conversation). Things had entered the stage where I wasn't sure what to say, so I went with, "Luckily for you, I'm still here. The amazing female friend with all the lame benefits and almost none of the good ones."

He didn't laugh. The travesty is—that's very much how I feel. It's like he thinks of me as his girlfriend in every aspect but the ones that involve snuggling, cuddling, or making out.

(Oh, and the idiom in question: have your cake and eat it, too.)