Century, Like 100 Miles

The first night we were in the new place Bill decided to have a massive shin-dig. Lots and lots of people came. Including a couple of our new neighbors. I was really excited to learn that one of them is really into cycling. At the party I ended up sitting around talking with the new neighbor, Brisk, and some random people. The conversation turned to cycling (Brisk and the neighbor were doing most of the talking, I was just listening). Eventually they got to talking about different types of bike shoes. The neighbor asserted that he liked road biking shoes. I piped in that I prefer mountain biking shoes. "Well," he said, "for long distances where you're just riding, road bike shoes are better."

"Hmm..." I said, "well, I'm constantly on and off my bike, even when doing long distances."

"I mean, like, centuries, and things," he said to me snootily.

I nodded, "yeah, I'm still on and off, constantly." Brisk had initially sided with the neighbor, but he hasn't done any rides as long as mine, and everyone rides a little differently, so just differed to my opinion.

The neighbor was incredulous that I would pretend to (a) know what a 'century ride' is; (because no one can do that math...) and (b) pretend to be capable of riding one. "A century?" he said with a sneer. I nodded, trying to think of something witty, but not bitchy, to say, "That's, like, 100 miles." he finished.

"Mm hmm..." I nodded.

"She actually just did the STP," Brisk volunteered—mostly to make him shut up, and quit making a fool of himself.

"Yup!" I said with enthusiasm, "It was so much fun!" The conversation eventually made it's way from where it was to other topics. When he left that night, I was pretty sure I wasn't his biggest fan.

A couple of days later I was changing a flat on my road bike, and pumping up the tires on my hybrid. The neighbor happened by. "Oooohhh, bikes" he said, popping into the garage. We chatted briefly, and he tried to impress me with his bike skillz again. "None of these are clipless?!" he half asked, half demanded.

"Actually," I said, indicating the road bike, "that one is."

"Oh," he sized up my road bike, "I haven't had a bike with 3 rings on the front in years."

"Why not?"

"They don't make road bikes with three gears."

"Um, that one's a road bike," I pointed out.

"No, it's a hybrid."

"Nope, that's a hybrid, this one's a road bike."

"Let me rephrase," he said, trying to save face, "they don't make road bikes under (whatever his favorite brand is) with more than 2 gears."

"Oh," I let it die. Yeah, you're a real jerk, I thought.