Control in a Relationship

In one of my classes one of the girls mentioned a career path choice that her husband had made. After telling various women she knew she found she was constantly faced with exclamations such as: "I can't believe you let your husband do that! I'd never let mine do that!" She discussed how upset it had made her, and the audacity of these women to announce such things. And, "excuse me, but, I'm not the boss of my husband. It's a 'partnership'!" While I agree with that as a premise, I got to thinking -- personally, I never would let my husband make the same choice as hers had. The question thus becomes: How can I control that?

Well, simply put, you recognize those things that you would not want your spouse to be doing, and don't marry someone who is predisposed to such an idea. For example, she didn't want to marry a doctor, so she didn't date pre-med students. I don't want to marry a man who does x as his career, so I won't date guys who have always wanted to do x. It's not a matter of "letting" one's spouse do something. It's a matter of not marrying the type of person who would want to do that which you wouldn't want your spouse to do. After all of that, she still bristled when I said, "And, no, I'd never let my husband do a similar career as yours. I wouldn't marry a guy who wanted to."

It really all boils down to knowing what you absolutly cannot abide in a relationship, and avoiding a situation where you'll encounter that.