Camping With a City Girl
On our ill-fated camping trip last weekend, my kid sister did a slew of things that really made me question her parentage.
We went camping at a public camp ground, one of those "maintained" ones. You know the kind, they actually have a biffy (Bathroom In Forest For You - a.k.a Out House), so you don't have to dig a hole, etc. Eventually, she decided she needed to use the washroom. No big deal. I point her in the right direction (well within eye sight) and caution, "Don't get people-napped".
A bit later I hear a knocking that sounds a bit too slow for a wood-pecker. I glance over in the direction of the biffy, and see that the camp site directly behind it is inhabited with a rather rowdy looking crowd. Must be them, I reason. Moments later I hear a frantic cry, "GORP!!!" (Good Ol' Raisn and Peanuts – forgive me, my family nickname is only remotely related to my given name, and a girl can only come up with so many nicknames for herself, so GORP is gonna have to do) She sounded so panicked that I started running towards her (something one should never do in a camp site unless one of two things is happening (1) bad things to the person you're with or (2) bad things to you. Since this fell under category one I husseled my fat a-- over to the biffy. As I was thus engaged she called out desperately again, "GRANOLA!!!!" "I'm coming!" I hollered back. I arrived, breathless, to find her still in the biffy.
"What's the matter?" I asked, worried that she fell in. Trust me, that's not a place you want to fall in to.
"I can't get out. I'm locked in."
I smile. That happened to me when I went, I guess I forgot to mention it. "Push the door, then undo the latch."
"Pull the door?"
"No. Push. Did you have to push to get it to lock?"
"Yes."
"Then you need to push it to unlock it. Here, try now," I say as I pull on the handle.
Free at last! We laughed about it long and hard. Silly girl. Stuck in the john. Later when she had to use it again I gave her two cautions, "Don't get people-napped. Oh, and don't lock the door."
"Lock the door??"
"No. Don't."
We went camping at a public camp ground, one of those "maintained" ones. You know the kind, they actually have a biffy (Bathroom In Forest For You - a.k.a Out House), so you don't have to dig a hole, etc. Eventually, she decided she needed to use the washroom. No big deal. I point her in the right direction (well within eye sight) and caution, "Don't get people-napped".
A bit later I hear a knocking that sounds a bit too slow for a wood-pecker. I glance over in the direction of the biffy, and see that the camp site directly behind it is inhabited with a rather rowdy looking crowd. Must be them, I reason. Moments later I hear a frantic cry, "GORP!!!" (Good Ol' Raisn and Peanuts – forgive me, my family nickname is only remotely related to my given name, and a girl can only come up with so many nicknames for herself, so GORP is gonna have to do) She sounded so panicked that I started running towards her (something one should never do in a camp site unless one of two things is happening (1) bad things to the person you're with or (2) bad things to you. Since this fell under category one I husseled my fat a-- over to the biffy. As I was thus engaged she called out desperately again, "GRANOLA!!!!" "I'm coming!" I hollered back. I arrived, breathless, to find her still in the biffy.
"What's the matter?" I asked, worried that she fell in. Trust me, that's not a place you want to fall in to.
"I can't get out. I'm locked in."
I smile. That happened to me when I went, I guess I forgot to mention it. "Push the door, then undo the latch."
"Pull the door?"
"No. Push. Did you have to push to get it to lock?"
"Yes."
"Then you need to push it to unlock it. Here, try now," I say as I pull on the handle.
Free at last! We laughed about it long and hard. Silly girl. Stuck in the john. Later when she had to use it again I gave her two cautions, "Don't get people-napped. Oh, and don't lock the door."
"Lock the door??"
"No. Don't."
posted by granola girl at 9:31 pm
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