Denise

Soon after I got my new mobile number I started getting calls for Denise. At first I was polite, "I'm sorry, you must have a wrong number." Finally someone got bold and tried to sell me on their product. "Would you be interested in working from home?" Ahhh... the old work-from-home scheme. "No, thank you. I have a wonderful job." However, I asked the caller a variety of questions and determined that Denise (whom ever she may be) had put my phone number down on an online form requesting information about working from home. Thanks.

After that I mounted an aggressive Stop Calling My Cell Phone attack. Each individual calling for Denise was told that, no, in fact, this is not her number, and please remove me from your list. This has been working wonders and calls have all but disappeared.

Last week I got another call for the ever elusive, and perpetually unemployed, Denise. I explained to the caller that Denise is a retard and put my number down, and would he mind removing me from his list. Sure, he said, no problem.

Today I was sitting at my computer mindlessly playing JezzBall when the phone rang. "Good afternoon, BigNameCompany, this is Granola."
"Who is this?" Ok, quick aside, few things annoy me more than the 'who is this?' question from the caller. You called me you ninny! At least give me your name before demanding to know who answered the phone.
"Granola."
"This isn't Denise?"
"You're looking for Denise?"
"Yes, Denise HerLastName. Is she at this number?"
"Uh, no. May I ask what this is in regards to?"
She hemmed and hawed, and finally I said, "I've been getting calls for another Denise at this number, and I'm just trying to determine if it's for the same Denise."
"Oh, this is Jane from Budget Rent-a-Car."
"Ah, ok thanks. Must be a different Denise."

After I hung up I realized, she called my work phone, not my cell phone.

Denise, whoever you are, I hate you.