Finally! An Answer

Last night PuppyDogsAndBows announced that she was going to the grocery store, and asked if I needed anything. I said, no, thanks. The thing about her is: she's not very comfortable with who she is. Sunday at church, for example, she asked me if I would go to the washroom with her. This is not my idea of fun. In fact, I am more than mildly disgusted when girls go to the washroom in groups. However, because I know she is not a confident person (owing partially to the fact that she is not very comfortable with who she is) I agreed. The joy! Last night after I had said I didn't need anything I sensed that it was a similar situation, so I amended my answer with, "but, I'll go with you, anyway." She smiled that smile of relief and sighed, "Thank you!"

I find it very odd, and mildly uncomfortable when people aren't comfortable with who they are. I don't know if it is because I am so comfortable with who I am and therefore can't identify (this is a truism, even if it isn't the cause), or if it is because I find their discomfort more than moderately annoying. Thus, spending time with people who are unsure of themselves is very taxing on me.

I know this sounds like an I'm-better-than-everyone-else post, but that's not the point. The point is I'm comfortable and confident with who I am. I have a sufficiently high self-esteem, and am not overly concerned with what external people think about me. Sure, I care what my folks think of me, it matters to me what my family thinks of me, and, I think the image I portray as a Mormon is really important. Aside from that, I think if I'm striving to be the best possible person I can be, then I don't worry too much about what other people think.

Last night after we were leaving the grocery store I said something about driving in a "well lighted city." Thinking she had caught me in a massive grammatical mistake she corrected me, "Wouldn't it be well lit?" No. This launched us into a discussion on the issue. Finally she conceded the point, "You shouldn't go around assuming you're right all the time."

"When it comes to grammar, I am seldom incorrect." Her concession was in a joking tone, so I continued in a jocular fashion.

"Well, you shouldn't assume that you're always right about everything else, too."

"Oh, but I am."

"People will think you're a snob."

Ahhh... well, it's about time we got to the root of the issue: PuppyDogsAndBows thinks I'm a snob. At least we finally have some basis for her neuroses towards me.

"So what?" I shrugged. "I don't care what people think."

"Yes, you do." This is my favorite part of our discussions. In an effort to convince herself that she is "perfectly normal" (whatever the hell that means) she believes (or wants to, very, very badly) that everyone else who doesn't have massive issues is exactly like she. This may be another reason we don't always see eye to eye-on-every issue. Anyway, back to the discussion on hand.

"No, actually, I don't."

"Well, you should." Ah, more attempting to make people fit into the mold that she thinks they ought.

The conversation continued. I find it hard to comprehend people with poor self-esteems, but at least I accept that they exist. Now, if she could just accept that there are people with good-solid self-esteems, and they aren't necessarily stuck-up or conceited. Some of us are just confident. I blame Mumsy.