Growing up my parents made sure we learned the value of respecting other people's privacy. They knocked before the entered our bedrooms and all the usual privacy rules. However, the message that has stuck with me all these years was the one that said, "I don't care how interesting it looks. The envelope isn't addressed to you, it's addressed to Dad. So, no, you can't open it, unless he says you can." This extended to all mail. Letters from friends, Christmas cards, bills, "To the Parents of...", etc. Except, when they got letters addressed "To the parents of So-and-so" So-and-so was there when said letter was opened, and when we got older we were allowed to open those letters, provided we were So-and-so. This privacy rule, as I have said, has remained with me long after I have moved out of my parents' home.
Thus, I was (understandably, I feel) highly annoyed when I got home last night to discover that my roommate (PuppyDogsAndBows, as Mumsy has named her for me) had opened what she had (incorrectly) assumed to be the gas bill. Now, I understand that we all pay the utilities equally. But, you know what? It's my damn name on the bill, and I'm the one ultimately responsible to see that it gets paid, not her. If she wanted to open the bills she could have put them all in her name. I certainly didn't want to deal with that, again. In shear anger I yelled to an empty house, "Stop opening my damn mail!" Then, I grabbed a pen that was sitting on the table and wrote all over the envelope in big letters, "PLEASE, don't open my mail. I don't care if it is utilities!!!"
After that, I called Mumsy to vent about her utter lack of understanding of the rules of mail opening. I ranted and ranted about how much this pissed. me. off. and how I couldn't believe she would do this, and how this wasn't the first time. Mumsy guessed which of the roommates it was (you have figured out by this point that I'm living with three completely new people, and have been for the past month and a half, right?) and said, "Oh. She has issues already. You can't yell at her for it."
"Oh, bet me! If I have to deal with this for four bills for the next 12 months I'm going to go out of my mind! It's not that I have a problem with her seeing the bill, that's not it at all. I mean, we all have to pay it, and I'd want to see the bills before I pay them, too. Heck, I'll post it on the fridge if she wants! But I don't want her opening my mail! It's addressed to me! You never opened mail that was addressed to just Dad, even it if was a bill! Why should she be any different?!"
Mom half laughed, "Well, I opened utilities, but we're married, so it's a whole lot different. So, how are you going to tell her?"
"I don't know, but I'm going to have to wait awhile. If I don't I will be less than nice, and we both know how that will go."
We talked on about other things, and when I finally hung up the phone and headed back to the back of the house I heard music coming from PuppyDogsAndBows' room. I looked out in the back, and, sure enough, her car was parked there. $%^&*()!!! She had to have heard the whole conversation. I wasn't exactly quiet about it, and I didn't hear her come in. I went to my room and slammed the door, and pretended that I hadn't noticed that she was there.
I still haven't addressed it. I don't know how to bring it up. Well, I do know how to bring it up, I just don't know how to do it with out hurting her feelings. She's such an emotional roller coaster, sometimes I wonder how I'm going to survive the next year with her as a roommate!
Thus, I was (understandably, I feel) highly annoyed when I got home last night to discover that my roommate (PuppyDogsAndBows, as Mumsy has named her for me) had opened what she had (incorrectly) assumed to be the gas bill. Now, I understand that we all pay the utilities equally. But, you know what? It's my damn name on the bill, and I'm the one ultimately responsible to see that it gets paid, not her. If she wanted to open the bills she could have put them all in her name. I certainly didn't want to deal with that, again. In shear anger I yelled to an empty house, "Stop opening my damn mail!" Then, I grabbed a pen that was sitting on the table and wrote all over the envelope in big letters, "PLEASE, don't open my mail. I don't care if it is utilities!!!"
After that, I called Mumsy to vent about her utter lack of understanding of the rules of mail opening. I ranted and ranted about how much this pissed. me. off. and how I couldn't believe she would do this, and how this wasn't the first time. Mumsy guessed which of the roommates it was (you have figured out by this point that I'm living with three completely new people, and have been for the past month and a half, right?) and said, "Oh. She has issues already. You can't yell at her for it."
"Oh, bet me! If I have to deal with this for four bills for the next 12 months I'm going to go out of my mind! It's not that I have a problem with her seeing the bill, that's not it at all. I mean, we all have to pay it, and I'd want to see the bills before I pay them, too. Heck, I'll post it on the fridge if she wants! But I don't want her opening my mail! It's addressed to me! You never opened mail that was addressed to just Dad, even it if was a bill! Why should she be any different?!"
Mom half laughed, "Well, I opened utilities, but we're married, so it's a whole lot different. So, how are you going to tell her?"
"I don't know, but I'm going to have to wait awhile. If I don't I will be less than nice, and we both know how that will go."
We talked on about other things, and when I finally hung up the phone and headed back to the back of the house I heard music coming from PuppyDogsAndBows' room. I looked out in the back, and, sure enough, her car was parked there. $%^&*()!!! She had to have heard the whole conversation. I wasn't exactly quiet about it, and I didn't hear her come in. I went to my room and slammed the door, and pretended that I hadn't noticed that she was there.
I still haven't addressed it. I don't know how to bring it up. Well, I do know how to bring it up, I just don't know how to do it with out hurting her feelings. She's such an emotional roller coaster, sometimes I wonder how I'm going to survive the next year with her as a roommate!
posted by granola girl at 7:48 am
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