What Part of 'No'?
This weekend found me at a 'Mid Single's Conference'. That's single Mormon's ages 27-45. Well, I guess I qualify.
Saturday afternoon a group of us were going kayaking on Lake Union. We gathered at the meeting point, and waited. After a bit a friend of mine suggested that we just head out. There was a guy we had never met waiting for a ride, so I said he could carpool with us. Mistake number one.
By the time we got into downtown it had become more than a little apparent that he was lacking in the social skills department. Including his utter lack of ability to pick up on very obvious social cues, like, for example, when my friend said, "Don't get me wet!" he persisted in telling her that he was going to soak her.
We rented our kayak and headed out. Our new 'friend' declared that he had kayaked before, and even had a (yes) "boating merit badge". Yes, as in, Boy Scouts. Never mind that he had to be at least 35 years old. This still, made him an expert kayaker. To protect my friend from getting wet I sat in the middle of our 3 person kayak. He decided that he should have the back (thus making him in charge of the rudder), which left her in the front.
In case you're wondering: he doesn't know right from left. Or, rather, his "merit badge expertise" told him that if we wanted to go right he should push his left foot on the rudder control down. Now, I know that rudders are backwards, but kayaks have the rudders in the logical fashion. Which means: left foot = go left, right foot = go right. In fact, the dude who rented us the kayak even told us as much.
At one point I was yelling at Chucky to "Go RIGHT!" and to, therefor, push the right pedal. He had the audacity to say to me, "Clearly you don't know as much about boats as I do." His inability to figure out that every time he adjusted the rudder and we went the wrong way meant that, maybe, just maybe, I was right, lead me to controlling our direction by paddling and dragging my paddle in the water to force turns. It worked. Thank heavens! At one point Chucky "caught" me doing this and asked, "Granola! What are you doing!?!"
"Making us turn the right way, since you can't!" I snapped. Amazingly, he still didn't figure it out.
An unpleasant hour later we decided to return to the dock. As we were standing in line to pay for our rental he said to me, "If you want to go see Indiana Jones" (I had mentioned it to my friend on the drive in) "on Tuesday, I'll take you."
"Uh, thanks," was my first reply, then, blissfully, InternBill came to my rescue, "but, my boy is going to be into that night, and I don't think he'd approve." (We call him my 'boy toy' at work, so I just dropped the 'toy' part.)
"Well, I didn't realize you have a boyfriend," he said. I thought that would be the end of that.
As we walked back to the car he invited me to his birthday party and said, "You can even bring your boyfriend."
"Thanks, I probably wouldn't go without him."
"And, you two are going camping, I heard." This, again, was from the drive in. If he had heard that, you'd think he would have made the jump that I'm kind of into this dude. Well, you and I thought wrong.
"Yup." I replied, though I haven't decided if I'm going camping on Tuesday or not.
"Well, as long as you two sleep in separate tents." He chastised me.
Excuse me? Who the hell are you to tell me what sleeping arrangements I can and cannot have? When did you suddenly become my bishop? I didn't even bother to respond.
Miserably, we finally limped back into the stake center where he continued to follow me around, and be all sorts of unpleasant. Annoying things he did included:
1. sitting on the arm of the chair I was sitting in--ignorant to the fact that I was leaning as far away from him as possible.
2. insulting vegans upon learning that I am one.
3. hanging around even after I walked away.
4. following me around.
He also went to the same lecture I did, going so far as to sit in the row in front of me when I made sure that my row was packed full.
I came home for dinner, and upon returning to the church building the 'fun' started anew.
I walked away, ignored, ignored and walked away for about an hour before deciding to just head home. I ran into a couple of friends in the hallway and we chatted for a while, then he came up to us, pad of paper and pen in hand, looking for my phone number and email address.
I didn't even smile at him as I said, "Actually, I'd rather not give you my phone number or email address. I hope you have a nice evening...and life." Then I turned back to my friends.
Now, usually I'm not that rude to people, however, I was done with this, and had tried to let him down nicely, hours before.
"Ok," he said, "well, I might not make it tomorrow, but I'll see you around."
"Ok. Have fun tomorrow." I said, as kindly as I could muster.
"No, I might not make it tomorrow." he repeated.
"Well, have fun doing whatever you do."
"Will you be here?" he half demanded.
"I don't know, maybe."
"Well, I'll see you at church."
"No," I corrected, "I won't be at church." I'll be going to my own ward, thankyouverymuch.
"Oh. Yeah, you probably have a calling in your ward."
"No. Actually, I'm not Mormon." I said, desperate to get him to go away.
"Oh? You're not? Ok."
I don't know if that finally got him to decide to move on, but, what a lame thing to finally have to say to hopefully get him to go away. And, really? Not Mormon? At a Mormon conference? Wow. Yeah...
If I see him tomorrow I'm going to have to be even more blunt and rude than I was tonight. I'm not sure I have it in me.
Saturday afternoon a group of us were going kayaking on Lake Union. We gathered at the meeting point, and waited. After a bit a friend of mine suggested that we just head out. There was a guy we had never met waiting for a ride, so I said he could carpool with us. Mistake number one.
By the time we got into downtown it had become more than a little apparent that he was lacking in the social skills department. Including his utter lack of ability to pick up on very obvious social cues, like, for example, when my friend said, "Don't get me wet!" he persisted in telling her that he was going to soak her.
We rented our kayak and headed out. Our new 'friend' declared that he had kayaked before, and even had a (yes) "boating merit badge". Yes, as in, Boy Scouts. Never mind that he had to be at least 35 years old. This still, made him an expert kayaker. To protect my friend from getting wet I sat in the middle of our 3 person kayak. He decided that he should have the back (thus making him in charge of the rudder), which left her in the front.
In case you're wondering: he doesn't know right from left. Or, rather, his "merit badge expertise" told him that if we wanted to go right he should push his left foot on the rudder control down. Now, I know that rudders are backwards, but kayaks have the rudders in the logical fashion. Which means: left foot = go left, right foot = go right. In fact, the dude who rented us the kayak even told us as much.
At one point I was yelling at Chucky to "Go RIGHT!" and to, therefor, push the right pedal. He had the audacity to say to me, "Clearly you don't know as much about boats as I do." His inability to figure out that every time he adjusted the rudder and we went the wrong way meant that, maybe, just maybe, I was right, lead me to controlling our direction by paddling and dragging my paddle in the water to force turns. It worked. Thank heavens! At one point Chucky "caught" me doing this and asked, "Granola! What are you doing!?!"
"Making us turn the right way, since you can't!" I snapped. Amazingly, he still didn't figure it out.
An unpleasant hour later we decided to return to the dock. As we were standing in line to pay for our rental he said to me, "If you want to go see Indiana Jones" (I had mentioned it to my friend on the drive in) "on Tuesday, I'll take you."
"Uh, thanks," was my first reply, then, blissfully, InternBill came to my rescue, "but, my boy is going to be into that night, and I don't think he'd approve." (We call him my 'boy toy' at work, so I just dropped the 'toy' part.)
"Well, I didn't realize you have a boyfriend," he said. I thought that would be the end of that.
As we walked back to the car he invited me to his birthday party and said, "You can even bring your boyfriend."
"Thanks, I probably wouldn't go without him."
"And, you two are going camping, I heard." This, again, was from the drive in. If he had heard that, you'd think he would have made the jump that I'm kind of into this dude. Well, you and I thought wrong.
"Yup." I replied, though I haven't decided if I'm going camping on Tuesday or not.
"Well, as long as you two sleep in separate tents." He chastised me.
Excuse me? Who the hell are you to tell me what sleeping arrangements I can and cannot have? When did you suddenly become my bishop? I didn't even bother to respond.
Miserably, we finally limped back into the stake center where he continued to follow me around, and be all sorts of unpleasant. Annoying things he did included:
1. sitting on the arm of the chair I was sitting in--ignorant to the fact that I was leaning as far away from him as possible.
2. insulting vegans upon learning that I am one.
3. hanging around even after I walked away.
4. following me around.
He also went to the same lecture I did, going so far as to sit in the row in front of me when I made sure that my row was packed full.
I came home for dinner, and upon returning to the church building the 'fun' started anew.
I walked away, ignored, ignored and walked away for about an hour before deciding to just head home. I ran into a couple of friends in the hallway and we chatted for a while, then he came up to us, pad of paper and pen in hand, looking for my phone number and email address.
I didn't even smile at him as I said, "Actually, I'd rather not give you my phone number or email address. I hope you have a nice evening...and life." Then I turned back to my friends.
Now, usually I'm not that rude to people, however, I was done with this, and had tried to let him down nicely, hours before.
"Ok," he said, "well, I might not make it tomorrow, but I'll see you around."
"Ok. Have fun tomorrow." I said, as kindly as I could muster.
"No, I might not make it tomorrow." he repeated.
"Well, have fun doing whatever you do."
"Will you be here?" he half demanded.
"I don't know, maybe."
"Well, I'll see you at church."
"No," I corrected, "I won't be at church." I'll be going to my own ward, thankyouverymuch.
"Oh. Yeah, you probably have a calling in your ward."
"No. Actually, I'm not Mormon." I said, desperate to get him to go away.
"Oh? You're not? Ok."
I don't know if that finally got him to decide to move on, but, what a lame thing to finally have to say to hopefully get him to go away. And, really? Not Mormon? At a Mormon conference? Wow. Yeah...
If I see him tomorrow I'm going to have to be even more blunt and rude than I was tonight. I'm not sure I have it in me.
posted by granola girl at 11:53 pm
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