Trump Card

I have cello lessons every Saturday at my teacher's house. I also have no car. Fortunately, my cello case has wheels and shoulder straps so I can wear it like a backpack. I also am lucky enough to be the proud owner of a bus pass. Thus, every Saturday morning I grab my cello and head to the bus stop. Sometimes I pull my cello, fully utilizing the wheels, and other times I wear it on my back (if the ground is uneven, or gross). Today I was wearing it. As I approached the bus stop a man interrupted my phone conversation (yes, I am one of those people who talk on the phone in public, but I try not to be rude about it) to ask if I was carrying a guitar or a bass. "Neither," I politely informed him, "it's a cello." "Oh! Yeah, yeah! Of course! If it was (sic) a bass you couldn't carry it like that." "Nope." I figured that would be the end of that, as I still had the phone to my ear. Ignoring that detail he continued, "How many strings does it have?" Is this a quiz or something, just making sure I know the finer details of my instrument? "Four." (Holding up four fingers.) He kept wanting to talk to me, I kept wanting to talk to my mother. She hung up. We do that. Clearly she wasn't going to be talked to for a while, so why stay on the line. I do it to her, too.

He then asked me if I could play it. No, I just like to carry it around to look cool. "Yes." "Take it out and play for me?" Uh, no. Do you realize where we are? That's right, we're standing on the side of the busiest street in town waiting for a bus which is going to be here any moment. Additionally, you do know that I have to sit to play the cello (we just discussed this). And, lastly, I simply don't feel like it right now. I'm going to be playing for an hour, and I'm not sure I'm in tune, and I don't want to tune so I can play a little ditty for you. "Uh, sorry. I'd rather not. The bus is going to be here anytime." Is what I really said. He asked me again. I gave him the exact same answer. His reply was this: "Yes, I'm a black man. I play the bass. I went to college. And, I can add one plus one." Huh?! What does that have to do with the price of tea in China? So, I responded as best one can in a situation like that: I just stared at him. I guess he realized that I wasn't going to apologize for my blatant bigotry (what?!?!) and, perhaps, what a lame statement that was, because he then said, "I'm sorry, I've had a bad day. You didn't deserve that." Still a bit in shock from his horrifically false accusation I said nothing. He turned and slunk away.

What I really wanted to say was, "Yeah? And, I'm a white girl, who never went to college. And I can't read. What does that change?" Clearly many of the above statements are false, but give me a break! I don't care if you're purple, yellow, orange, violet, or puke green! It doesn't change my lack of desire to open up my case, set up my cello, tune the thing, and then play (not to mention finding a place to sit!) for you, only so I can put it all away super fast when the bus pulls up so I don't get left behind!

Why do some people think that they can play the race card whenever something isn't going the way they want? I don't go around claiming that everything that doesn't go my way is a direct result of my gender! I could. I could have told him that I didn't feel like playing because I felt that the only reason he was asking me was because I am a woman and he wanted to control me as a result of some sick sexual fantasy he had going on. I didn't. You know why? Because up until the moment that I told him I wasn't going to play for him and he accused me of being a prejudice slime-ball, we were just two musicians talking about our instruments. Albeit, one of us really wanted to be talking to her mommy about the Great SuperStores vs. BigNameCompany Debate.

I suppose as long as there are people in this world who assume everything is a race or gender or disability or height or weight thing there will be people like me who get annoyed at them. Personally, I'm an equal opportunity offender. If I don't like you it has nothing to do with any of the above "issues" and maybe a bit to do with your personality, and your opinion that everything in this world is about those "issues." Get over yourself already. I don't think more or less of you based on those factors. I think less of you for making them an issue in your life. Why don't those types of people try to make their issue (for they have made it an issue) a strength rather than a perceived weakness? They'd go much further in life if they could say, "Yes, I'm a woman in a technological field, and I think it's a wonderful strength because I can add a different perspective on challenges." Rather than "Yes, I'm a woman in a technological field and the men never take me seriously because of that. I also never get paid the same, and people hate me. Because I'm a woman!" It is what you make of it. And he will probably always be treated worse because of his reaction and attitude. Not because of the color of his skin.