Boyfriends
While I was talking to a friend on Friday I sighed and informed him, "I need a boyfriend." He then told me that my stubborn determination that I don't need a boyfriend is something that he really admires in me. In his opinion, girls fall into three categories: (1) the type that need a boyfriend to feel validated; (2) the girls who seem almost manic about boyfriends -- they are deeply in love one day and hate men the next; and (3) the women who don't need a man to feel complete, and go about their lives not worrying whether or not tomorrow will bring a man. He told me that, generally, he considers me to be in the third group, but my comment has made him wonder if I was seeking to move up into one of the other two categories.
Now, I don't consider myself to be boyfriend-dependent, but there are certain things that a significant other can do that no level of "best friendship" can equate. I shared the following information with him, which I now share with you.
For example, when having a personal religious crisis, the best person to call would be a significant other. While a close friend may be willing to help you in your time of need, there is a certain amount of ignorance to your situation that they have. A significant other, on the other hand, would have a much more intimate relationship with you, and be much more aware of what would be of most benefit to you. (The friend I was explaining all this to was the first one who called me back on the night I am referencing, so he has all that back information.)
Additionally, while close friends are important, there are many other roles which they can't fill, without becoming a significant other.
All of this got me thinking about ExOfNote (you were wondering when I was going to mention him again, weren't you?). That night ExOfNote would have been the absolutely wrong person to call, as we have differing beliefs, and asking him to tell me why he believes things he doesn't believe would be more than fruitless. Thus, all of this has further cemented in my mind why ExOfNote and I can never be. Alas, now if my heart would only follow.
Now, I don't consider myself to be boyfriend-dependent, but there are certain things that a significant other can do that no level of "best friendship" can equate. I shared the following information with him, which I now share with you.
For example, when having a personal religious crisis, the best person to call would be a significant other. While a close friend may be willing to help you in your time of need, there is a certain amount of ignorance to your situation that they have. A significant other, on the other hand, would have a much more intimate relationship with you, and be much more aware of what would be of most benefit to you. (The friend I was explaining all this to was the first one who called me back on the night I am referencing, so he has all that back information.)
Additionally, while close friends are important, there are many other roles which they can't fill, without becoming a significant other.
All of this got me thinking about ExOfNote (you were wondering when I was going to mention him again, weren't you?). That night ExOfNote would have been the absolutely wrong person to call, as we have differing beliefs, and asking him to tell me why he believes things he doesn't believe would be more than fruitless. Thus, all of this has further cemented in my mind why ExOfNote and I can never be. Alas, now if my heart would only follow.
posted by granola girl at 2:14 pm
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