Sometimes I Get Sad

Last night as I was driving down the hill from Orem to Provo via State Street I glanced over at the moon -- for it was truly level to my elevation, yet hanging over Provo -- and was struck by how beautiful it was. I know that sounds so cheesy and hokey. I'm the first to admit it. However, there is something about the full moon that has always captivated me. In recent years it has taken on a deeper meaning for me. As I was contemplating this moon I had an amazing memory.

When ExOfNote and I first started dating he had planed this elaborate date for us. He had filled his backpack with candles, matches, a sheet, and picnic items. Then, when it was well and truly dark outside he took me to this amazing park. We walked out to the middle of a field, with only the moon to guide us. When we found the perfect spot he laid out the sheet and placed the candles along the edge, then set out our picnic. He lit the candles and we reclined there, talking as the moon moved higher in the sky. After a bit the slight breeze we had been enjoying kicked up, and suddenly we couldn't keep the candles lit. Unwilling to head home we let them go out, glad that we were privileged with a full moon. Eventually the wind became cold and we had to hold each other to stay warm. Neither of us wanted to part, the evening was too perfect for that.

I still remember the way that park looked, the way he looked in the moonlight, and the way I felt as I realized how truly in love with him I had become.

Now, back in the present, my heart aches for him. I wish there were a way to change things, but I wouldn't change him if I could, so it's a fruitless wish, and that makes me sad.