Snoop
20% of couples in committed relationships admit that they snoop in their partner's email or text messages.
Or is it 36%? Or 45?
The number keeps getting bigger and bigger, suggesting that more and more people are snooping. And, somehow, that makes it ok.
Growing up, Mumsy always maintained that we had no right to privacy, but our privacy was still important to her. I don't know if she ever violated my privacy, but I always knew she would if she felt she needed to.
Now, as an adult, privacy is a huge issue for me. I've never wanted to know my boyfriends' passwords, or pin numbers. Once ExOfNote told me his—I think as an effort to show me how much he trusted me. I didn't even try to remember it. I also didn't tell him mine.
Bill and I occasionally look over the other's shoulder when we're typing in our phone pins, and even guess at the other person's pin. But, as soon it's guessed, we change it. At one point Bill knew my pin and I left it for a week or so before changing it. Not because I don't trust him, but because locks keep honest people honest.
One night recently Bill left his phone unlocked, and his text messages to Chick open when he left the room. I scrolled through his messages. I'm not convinced that what I did was right, but, was it unexpected?
The thing about snooping is that you often learn things you wish you hadn't, or, if you discover nothing you become more suspicious. If you can't handle what you find (or may find) don't snoop.
But, what does all of this have to do with me? The fact that I wouldn't dream of snooping in our roommate's stuff combined with my earlier actions puts me in an interesting mental exercise—yes, Bill and I are close, and yes, we fill many emotional needs for each other, but, we're not in a committed relationship. Or, are we?
Or is it 36%? Or 45?
The number keeps getting bigger and bigger, suggesting that more and more people are snooping. And, somehow, that makes it ok.
Growing up, Mumsy always maintained that we had no right to privacy, but our privacy was still important to her. I don't know if she ever violated my privacy, but I always knew she would if she felt she needed to.
Now, as an adult, privacy is a huge issue for me. I've never wanted to know my boyfriends' passwords, or pin numbers. Once ExOfNote told me his—I think as an effort to show me how much he trusted me. I didn't even try to remember it. I also didn't tell him mine.
Bill and I occasionally look over the other's shoulder when we're typing in our phone pins, and even guess at the other person's pin. But, as soon it's guessed, we change it. At one point Bill knew my pin and I left it for a week or so before changing it. Not because I don't trust him, but because locks keep honest people honest.
One night recently Bill left his phone unlocked, and his text messages to Chick open when he left the room. I scrolled through his messages. I'm not convinced that what I did was right, but, was it unexpected?
The thing about snooping is that you often learn things you wish you hadn't, or, if you discover nothing you become more suspicious. If you can't handle what you find (or may find) don't snoop.
But, what does all of this have to do with me? The fact that I wouldn't dream of snooping in our roommate's stuff combined with my earlier actions puts me in an interesting mental exercise—yes, Bill and I are close, and yes, we fill many emotional needs for each other, but, we're not in a committed relationship. Or, are we?
posted by granola girl at 8:05 pm
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home