Secret Blog

The amusing thing about having a secret blog is when your friends learn you have one, and then try desperately to find it. Part of me wishes I didn't even have a blog, just because the entertainment value is so high, and that would only amplify it.

Musical Sunday School

My calling at church is to lead the music in Relief Society. It's not terribly glamorous, but I do enjoy picking hymns that correspond with the lesson and which we maybe don't sing all that often.

This Sunday I was selecting Thanksgiving hymns and chatting with the Relief Society president about how it'd be fun to have a Sunday where we just sing hymns and I said, "Just let me know, and I'll totally do it."

Minutes later we found out the teacher was sick and wouldn't be coming. The RS President asked me if I wouldn't mind leading a singing lesson. I agreed and when she announced our plan someone suggested we go around the room and have people say what they were thankful for. I decided to incorporate that into the brand new lesson plan.

Following announcements, I got up and lead a very willing and exciting room full of sisters on a tour of Thanksgiving hymns and thoughts. After every hymn I asked for a couple of people to share what they were thankful for. It was really neat. And, if I do say so myself, wildly successful.

STP Follow Up

I just realized that per blog information in July I was wimping out of the STP. Well, as a (very belated) update: I totally did it. And it was way better than last year. Also: I have no idea how I actually did it the first year. It was, literally 80% will power for most of the ride, and 100% for the last 60 miles.

This year it was much better. Much.

Twitter

Since the end of the Bill era he hasn't been on Twitter. Frankly, it's been nice to have that space all my own. I blocked his updates on Facebook and have just be carrying along nicely not having to deal with him. Why didn't I unfriend him? I assume at some later date we may salvage pieces of our friendship and I don't want the awkwardness of having to say, "Oh, hey, um, during the bad times I unfriended you. Can we have another go?"

Now, months on, he's back on Twitter. I wish he'd stop and let me have it.

snOMGosh

Yeah, it's snowing in Seattle, and you'd think the world ended. Traffic is snarled, people are stranded. The end of the world is neigh.

For my part, I chose to walk home from work (roughly 5 miles) because I figured it would be quicker than trying to catch a bus. 90 minutes later, not a single bus passed me and I was home and defrosting. I'd say mission accomplished.

I'm Ok With

not knowing what I want right now.

I'm not ok with breaking my friend worse than he already is.



Confused.

Indecision

I guess a buddy and I have been expending more effort in each others' direction as of late. I think it started out really after the whole Bill thing blew up. We've been good friends for years (I saw him through his girlfriend leaving him, etc), but I really needed someone to lean on during and after the end of the era of Bill, and he was it.

My friends think we should hook up—and many of them have expressed this desire for quite some time now. It's only getting worse as I've been leaning on him more.

Saturday night there were a couple of gatherings, neither of which he was invited to (not my fault), so in the middle of the evening he started texting me. I replied and we had a good conversation which included me threatening to go over to his house and hang out Sunday. He told me he was planning on cooking fish—to keep me away. So, since it sure sounded like I wasn't invited, I didn't go.

Then on Sunday a bunch of us were all out together and afterwords he were walking to our cars which happened to be in the same area of the parking garage. As we headed over to our cars our hands brushed. I moved away ever so slightly just in case it was a matter of us walking too closely together.

We stood by his car talking for quite sometime, during which he expressed disappointment that I hadn't gone over. I told him that I took his threat to cook fish as a clear indication that he'd rather not have me come by. "Oh, I figured you come by anyway." "I have no problem inviting myself over, but I don't show up when I've been told to not come by."

Here's the thing: I'm really really confused. I don't know if I want more, or if he's totally a rebound, or what. And, I don't know if he wants more or if he just wants to be friends.

A friend of mine (who is strongly encouraging this to become a relationship) has concluded that he's interested. When I told her that we may or may not have a date for this weekend she asked me what my evil plan is, assuming that he's interested, given that I'm not sure. I told her that we'll figure that out once he makes a move. Until then, there is no use worrying about breaking him. I mean, if he's interested and makes a move then we can talk about how I'm not sure. If he's not interested and I say something then it just has all sorts of potential to be all kinds of awkward.

I suppose we'll see what happens Friday. If Friday happens.

Flat Tire

In the month of October I got three flat tires on my bike. Once in the front, twice in the rear. After the third flat I decided to buy new tires. They came, but I didn't feel like doing the work to put them on.

So when I got a text from Brisk expressing that he was "booooorreeeddd" Sunday night I replied in kind. And then asked if he wanted to put my tires on my wheels. "Only if you drive out to Tajikistan" (he lives about 40 minutes from Seattle). I agreed, but had just gotten back from a trip and was tired, so I wasn't going to do it right then. We ended up deciding I'd go out to his place, he'd put tires on my wheels, and I'd look at paint swatches with him (he wants to repaint his house). So, Tuesday I put my wheels and tires in the back of my car and drove to work. After work I drove Brisk home, where we hung out, looked at paint swatches and replaced tires. All very very innocently. In retrospect, I'm not sure why I had to drive to Tajikistan to have my tires replaced when we could have just done it in the parking lot at work. But I can tell you why I did—we seem to be very confused about what we want from one another.

Box, Shelf, Done

I think I have finally closed the page on the Bill issue. I feel quite a bit of relief, but also quite a bit of loss. I miss him, but I can no longer stand the level of pain and hurt I was allowing that relationship to cause me.

Broken Foot

So, one time I decided to run a marathon.

With that comes training, and lots of it.

Being the smart woman I am, I jumped in determined to do this the right way—with a training program. I started jogging intervals roughly 30 minutes a day three or four days a week.

Which is where I went wrong.

I now have a stress fracture in my left foot and the doctor says I can't run for roughly six weeks.