The Battle Lost

Bill was in a minor accident today. He was riding his motorcycle and some idiot cut him off and in order to avoid a massive collision he laid his bike down.

I found this out when I got home to discover a very angry Bill. After he calmed down enough to speak I learned one very important thing: he contacted his chick first.

In short, I have been replaced. If there was ever a battle for his affection I have lost it. The realization is bittersweet, but not unexpected.

And, when she breaks him, my role will be resumed. I should know better, but I'll let it happen. Only to be cast aside, once again, in short order.

Dramah Much?

Bill's girl.

Asian (at this point, are we really surprised).
Size 2 (generously, she's probably smaller).
19 (ouch!).
And, has a very interesting take on how to do her eye makeup (as in—she probably goes through an eyeliner pencil a month).

Oh, also, a little bratty.

Case in point:
I've been nothing but pleasant to her the few times we've really interacted. But, mostly, I make myself scarce, to give them some privacy (since they're still at that point). One morning Bill and I were getting ready for the day, preparing our lunches and dinners in the kitchen. She was standing there, saying nothing. I offered her some cereal and her "oh, no thanks, I'm good" was actually, "nah." Um... ok? So far, whatever, it was early morning. However, fast forward a week. She was standing in our kitchen as Bill was finishing up some stuff so they could go out for the evening. He told her this silly idea that he has (which he couched with "this is silly and would never work, and would be a huge waste of energy and resources, but wouldn't it be cool if..."). She immediately when into dramatic overdrive. "DISGUSTING!" and "EWE THE HUMIDITY" and on and on and on. I was embarrassed for her and confused and had no way to make it stop. Bill, for his part, didn't seem phased. Minutes later when I asked about her day she went into bitch mode. Seriously honey, you've talked to me all of four times. You don't get to bitch at me like I actually care.

Two days later, she and Bill locked themselves out of the house, so I had to open the door for them. I said hello and chatted briefly, then headed to the kitchen. Bill announced he was going to use the washroom, and she chose to sit on his bed and wait. When it became apparent that he really meant, "Imma be a while" she moved to the living room and camped out there, instead of joining me and our two other house guests (Bill's friends) in the kitchen.

I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me.

Bill thinks "she's doesn't dislike you."

Bill is wrong. Girls measure and judge and weigh and few snubbings are ever 'accidental' (mine included). She doesn't like me. Who knows why, but she's going to have to get over it if she wants to be with him.

On the flip side, I find her to be immature and a bit irritating (which really has most everything to do with the fact that she's immature, and with her eye makeup looking like she thinks people are actually supposed to dress like Vogue models in public, it's impossible to take her seriously). I'm afraid I'm going to have to get over it, if she sticks around. Why? Because I value Bill's and my relationship. And, when she's gone, I'm going to have to pick up the pieces—boy has fallen hard.

Minus the yellow eyeshadow, this is pretty much what her makeup looks like. Tragically, for her, the model is much more attractive than chick is.

Solo Symphony

About a year ago I bought my season tickets for the symphony. Bill thought it was a great idea and bought a pair for himself as well. The plan was: we take dates and double. And, if we can't find dates/we don't look, then we exchange one pair, and go together.

This has worked out pretty well.

Until today.

I currently have two tickets, and Bill is seeing a girl, which means: I have been desperately trying to find a date for tonight. At this point, one of my friends may come, but only if the book signing she's at ends early enough. Otherwise I'm going stag.

Normally, I don't mind going to things by myself. The problem here is mostly Bill's girlfriend. She has managed to come across snotty in the few times we've interacted, and, frankly, I don't want to feel like I have to spend an evening with her (our seats are together). I spent yesterday and today trying to find someone to take as a date, and (after hitting epic rock bottom) finally called some girl friends to ask if they might be interested. If I end up going by myself, I'm showing up 5 minutes til and sitting in not my assigned seat. When Bill asks I'll just have to come up with some creative reason why I didn't sit with them.

This is, tragically, and frustratingly, moderately pathetic.

Moving Out Moving On

It's hard to describe, but things have been a bit rocky at home lately. I don't know what's going on, but it's been hard to deal with.

The other day Bill and I were talking and I asked him if he wanted me to move out. He said, no, of course not; and asked why I asked. I replied that he seemed to be indicating that he wanted me to move—things like complaining about things which haven't been an issue before, and mentioning (multiple times) that a friend of a friend is looking for a place to rent, and he could probably rent my room for $400-500 more than I'm currently paying.

We talked about this.

And, in the end, he said he wanted to raise my rent, and have me sign a lease. To which I had to tell him that the appeal of my current living situation is the rent plus lack of lease. And, if he took away my incentives, I would have to move out.

Thus, I am moving out at the end of April.

I have no idea what I'm going to do, or where I'm going to live, but I have to stand my ground.

As much as I feel like a jerk for saying it, I don't think he's going to get as much as he wants for my room. If he does, I'll be thrilled for him that I was wrong. If he doesn't, I'll feel bad for him, but he did force my hand on this one. Sometimes people forget that what you have is had, and what you see might not be obtainable.

The really sad thing about all of this is that I feel we're slowly losing our friendship, and when I move out, I don't think we're going to see each other as much as he thinks we will. I hate to lose him, but I don't know how to keep him.

Dinner Party

A friend and I decided to have a dinner party for some of the women we used to go to church with years ago. Her place was too small, so I offered to host. Last night was the big day, and, though it was a potluck, I definitely wanted to be sure that there was going to be enough food for everyone.

Not sure what to make, I reached for my standby cookbook. Vegan with a Vengeance. From that I made a delicious asparagus and sun-dried tomatoes 'frittata' as well as an amazing carrot cake. The internet gave me this delicious vegan chocolate fondue. Though, I didn't have any vegan chocolate, so I substituted vegan carob chips. It was a very rich flavor.

All-in-all, the dinner was a raging success. Yea!

Instincts

My ability to tell if a boy likes me is worse only than my ability to show a boy that I like him.

This in mind, when Bill and I met a ridiculously cute boy on the bus who seemed like he may be interested in me, Bill pushed and encouraged me to pursue him. In the end, it turns out the very cute boy is interested in me only as a friend.

This is why I don't go after guys all that aggressively—things usually end with me in the losing corner.