Saturday, November 26, 2005

New Job

Well, the good thing about being a techie is you're never unemployed for long.

One of the guys I used to work with who got laid-off at the same time as I started working for this consulting company and gave me a line on them. I applied Monday and the following happened:

The Recruiter called me first thing Tuesday, she had an SQL test she wanted to send my way, would I please take it and send it back to her as quickly as possible.

I logged on, checked my email and took the test. It was painfully simple. I felt myself getting dumber as I answered inane question after inane question. No big deal. I finished up and flipped it back over to her. She called me back almost immediately, would I be willing to go in for an interview that day at 1 o'clock. Sure thing. I dressed up and went down there -- ironically enough, it's just down the street from BigNameCompany. I interviewed with the CEO (I did say it was a small place, didn't I?) who offered me the job at the end of the interview. He said he would have Recruiter call me back and make me an offer.

She called me back an hour or so later and asked what I had been making at BigNameCompany. I gave her the figure and she almost died! "Wow," she said, "they were paying you very generously for an entry-level position! We can't match that. The best we can do is offer you ." This lovely figure ended up being 12% less than what I was making at BigNameCompany. Now, in my world, that's quite a drop! She asked how I felt about that and I explained that I wasn't willing to take that kind of a pay cut, sorry. She asked if we could work out something like a raise after a few weeks, or something. I said that would help, and could I think it over and get back to her the next day. Certainly.

I thought it over, and had decided that a job was better than no job at all. Actually, I called Mumsy and Dad and my sister and ExOfNote and they all said, Do what feels right. Fat lot of help that is. I decided to take the job and went to bed.

At 7:15 Wednesday morning my phone rang. It was someone from a security company who I had applied with. To be quite fair, this job would really be more up my alley. They gave me a phone screening and asked if I would be willing to relocate to Santa Monica. I hate LA, but for this job, I just might do it. He thanked me for my time and said someone would get back to me after the holiday.

I put off calling the consulting shop back.

Recruiter finally called me and asked my feelings on the whole deal. I told her that I was going to have to keep my options open, and I was sorry, but I didn't think it would work out. She asked if the money was the issue and I said, yes. If she could offer me more I might consider it. Then she mentioned that she had talked to the CEO and he was willing to offer me a pay jump after 8 weeks. I told her I didn't think that would work for me, and I was sorry. She said she'd get back to me after the holiday.

She ended up calling me at 4:45 that same day. She said she had a meeting with the CEO and wanted to know if she could get him to agree to only a 6% pay cut would I start Monday? I said yes, I would.

She called back at 5:15. He had agreed to it. Thus, I start Monday. Tragically, this job is just a job. I have every intentions of continuing to look for work somewhere else. Sad. I wish this were my dream job, but it just isn't. Wish me luck with the continued search.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Bad Things

As it turns out, PuppyDogsAndBows will believe every bad thing I tell her about myself. I had purchased a magazine that alluded to things of questionable legality. She thought it was highly entertaining that I should have said magazine on the coffee table. I looked at her and said, "You do know that I do that, right?"

"Yeah, I had kind of gathered that. That's a bad thing, right?"

"Yeah, sometimes. And, why did you gather that?"

"I donno. It just seems like something you would do."

"Ahh, that's what I did for BigNameCompany. It was all legit."

"Oh, ok."

So, what we've learned here is that she honestly will believe anything I tell her. Ahhh... the fun to be had! I think next I'll tell her that I served time for my questionable antics. Muahahahahah

Mistaken Identity

I was at church on Sunday waiting to talk to the bishop when a girl from my ward walked by. I waved at her and she stopped, looked at me, and then said, "Is that Granola?" "Yup." She came over to chat with me, "So, I heard that you've got a new job?" "Close," I corrected her, "I lost my job!"

It's amazing how fast news travels. In thinking about it, the only people at church who knew when I left were the dorks next door, my roommates, and the bishopric (I'll allow that the head-hunter I contacted who was second counselor told the others). Given that, I know that the bishopric wouldn't just tell the whole ward, and neither would the boys, thus, my roommates must be the culprits. Nice. They also were telling people that I might be moving. What the hell? I told PuppyDogsAndBows when she asked that I would go where ever the job was, not that I was definitely moving tomorrow. I can't believe that she told people that. When I asked her later if she had told anyone that I was moving her only justification was, "Well, you said you might be..." Sweet merciful carp. And she wonders why I tell her nothing! Anyway, back to this chick.

So, this girl and I keep talking and she mentions something about not being sure if this was her ward or not. By this point I'm managed to guess that she might not be who I thought she was. The question now became: who the heck is she, how does she know me, and how do I know her??? I asked her for her address and she gave me the one of the girl whom I had originally thought she was. This is getting stranger by the minute. At that moment I had to go talk to the bishop, I told her to talk to the executive secretary and he could tell her if she was in the right place. When I got finished with the bishop I went back into the lobby, she was waiting for me. "Can I come with you to Sunday School?" "Of course! I'm teaching, so I can't sit by you, but you're more than welcome to come."

As we went to class she and I kept talking, "You talk just like your little sister, you know that?" "Really?" As we talked on she mentioned my sister so many times that I was forced to conclude that she knew her, very well. As she was sitting there I heard her introduce herself to someone else, ah hah! A clue! When the moment was right I gleaned more information, "What's your last name again?" She told me, "Oh, that's right."

After Sunday School we went to Sacrament Meeting. I introduced her to my roommate, "This is so-and-so. She's from my home.... whatever." "Yeah." The girl replied. I was hoping she'd fill in with 'ward' or 'stake' as was appropriate, she didn't. After the conclusion of the meeting I asked her, "What's your home ward, again?" This is the best question to ask, no matter what she said, I could respond, 'Ah! That's what I thought.' Her response? Her singles' ward. No, I meant your home ward. Turns out that she is in my parent's ward. Whoops! "Ah, that's what I thought. Hey, would you like a ride home?" I ended up giving her and another girl a ride home, not a big deal, I mean, come on, I drive a van!

After I dropped my (new) friend off I told the other girl that I had no clue who she was. "Well, perhaps you needed to think she was someone else." Very true.

I called my kid sister as soon as I got home, "Who is so-and-so, what's her story, and why should I know her?" She gave me the run down, from the sound of it, yes, my new friend needed a friend. Glad I could be of service.

Time

It seems that I don't have enough time these days. All I do any more is get up, get ready for my day, go to the library and sit in front of a computer looking madly for a job. When I leave the library I try to accomplish all of those tasks and errands that I've been meaning to get to, but haven't. Ironically, I haven't had time to blog. Or, perhaps more accurately, I haven't had the will to blog. While I wouldn't say that I'm depressed, I would say that I'm a bit more down in the mouth than I've been for a while. It's really hard to blog happy thoughts when all I can think about is if I can afford to get my car looked at, or not. And, if I do take care of that now, what are the future ramifications.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

More On the Bed

Monday, after getting home, I jokingly teased PuppyDogsAndBows that she had slept in my bed whilst I was gone. There was a pregnant silence as she continued walking away from me. "You did sleep in my bed while I was gone!"

"Not in. On."

She and FreeLoader then confessed that they had all taken turns sleeping on my bed while I was gone. One night, however, PuppyDogsAndBows had slept in my bed. Sick.

Oh, and while they are glad that I'm home, they were all looking forward to when I left so they could sleep on the bed.

Funny, I had actually considered finding a way to lock the doors to my room. Perhaps I should have. I guess I don't mind that much, mostly I mind that she slept in my bed. Gross, gross, gross!

To Do

This whole being unemployed crap sucks. Yesterday I spent the day running around and catching up on errands that needed to be accomplished. I felt I got so much done, but then this afternoon as I was rewriting my to-do list to make it more concise it seemed to me that it is just as long. Frankly, on some things I don't know where to begin. On others, I don't want to. Some things are requiring follow up, and other things have to wait for other items on my list. Those excuses plus the other things I find that I must do which never make it to my list mean that I don't have a whole lot of time for sitting on my butt. Funny, I always wondered what housewives did all day. Now, I think I may know.

There are, however, things that I am not going to do. Dishes, for example. When PuppyDogsAndBows picked me up from the airport she told me that, "By the way, we have been doing dishes since you've been gone. We haven't been waiting for you to get home to do them."

I reassured her that I was sure that was the case. In all likelihood they ran out of dishes and had to wash a load or two out of desperation.

"Ok. Just so you know, there are some in the sink, now. But, we'll do them."

Apparently by "some" she meant, "every dish in the house". She washed one load of dishes Monday night, but no one has finished them since then. I think tonight I shall do the dishes. Part of the problem is, I have to do them when other people are home, otherwise no one will feel bad, and they'll all assume that one of the other two girls washed them. Tragically for all, I want everyone to feel terrible that the poor unemployed girl has to clean up after them because they're all too lazy to do it themselves.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Traveling Companions

I've been in Jerusalem for a week now. It has been amazing! I can hardly believe that have to go back home on Monday. What a different, yet similar, world this is. I have become so accustomed to many things that they are interesting, yet don't give me much pause. More on all of that when I try to blog my journeys once I get home.

As I have traveled with Aunt and Uncle it has been really fun to see their interactions with each other. Sometimes, however, in those quiet moments that my mind finds, I wonder what this trip would have been like had I not made this journey alone. Sometimes, when I am in great ornate, decadent churches I wonder what Mumsy would feel or notice or point out to me. The comments that we would share, the questions I would ask her, and she would, in turn, ask me. I wonder what things we could point out to, and experience with, each other. On a few occasions I have wished that she were here so that we could go out exploring with each other — and not have to worry about Aunt and Uncle and their schedules, or other things.

At other moments, frequently when Aunt and Uncle are doing something cute together, or just enjoying still being in love after 30 some-odd years, I think of ExOfNote and how the trip would have been had he joined me. He wouldn't care about the churches, undoubtedly. He might care about the amazing history lessons, but not too much. The thing he would care about the most is the culture of the people here. He likes culture, he likes to experience different cultures and meld them into who he is. Seeing Jerusalem through his eyes would be a very different experience than through Mumsy's. At those moments I often think about how we would be together. What we might say, or do; how we would interact.

Today as I was wishing, again, that he had come with me I had to stop myself. It suddenly occurred to me that though we have been broken up for almost 2 years now I still think of us in the present tense. I have yet to think of us in the past tense. I've got to figure out how to change that thinking. Perhaps that's part of my problem in getting over him.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Travels

I left Provo at 6:30 Friday morning headed for Tel Aviv. After 2 1/2 hours I landed in Minneapolis with a 45 minute layover. I dinked around and lost track of time. After a bit I decided I should wait at my gate. I headed over there, and saw the desk clerk I had checked in with standing near the door. I had almost missed my flight! "Sorry!" I exclaimed as I ran past him. "I wouldn't be sorry. We would have put you on the next flight." 2 1/2 more hours and I ended up in Newark where I had a 5 hour layover there. I was tired, and all I wanted to do was sleep. Instead I bought 2 magazines and set about devouring them. After that, it would be a short 10 1/2 hours before I would be landing in Tel Aviv, Israel.

I talked to Mumsy while I waited for my flight. "Are you excited!?" She demanded. "I'm so excited for you I hardly got any sleep last night!" (She speaks in exclamation marks, trust me.)

After we got all situated on the plane (a 777, in case you care) and took off it was meal time. As the flight attendants went around I silently kicked myself for not requesting a special meal. But, I reasoned, this was a flight to Israel. Surely there would be Kosher meals to be had. Sure enough, there were. I could have chicken or lasagnea. Um... no, actually I couldn't. I apologized to the flight attendant and asked if they had any vegetarian meals. She was fresh out, but we could take everything off the tray that I couldn't eat. Deal. After we did that I was left with — literally — a brownie. Even the salad had meat in it. She said when they were finished serving everyone else she would see if she could find some fruit in first class. I thanked her. Drinks came around and I asked for tomato juice. She left me with the whole can — perhaps that could hold me for a while. When she realized that she wouldn't be able to get to first class for a bit she came by and handed me some fruit bars and pretzels. On her way back through picking up drinks, etc. She offered me another drink. Bless her heart! I was starving! Finally I had enough to sleep on, and I was ready to hit the hay. After I feel asleep I felt a hand gently shaking me, it was the stewardess. She had raided first class and prepared a plate with grapes, crackers, and cheese. I inhaled everything but the cheese. So grateful. I thanked her profusely, to which she responded, "I'm from Denver, Colorado. I know how it goes, nothing with a face." I didn't want to explain, so I let that be.

Then I tried to sleep. The one baby on the plane happened to be in my section. It also happened to cry all night long. The poor mother. Every time the baby would wake me up I would look over and see her patting it comfortingly while whispering "shh" into its ear. That still didn't help me sleep. Finally the lightbulb over my head turned on — I plugged in my ear phones and turned up the hold music. I've never been so grateful for elevator music in my life.

Breakfast was much better — I had curry. Never mind. At least it wasn't eggs.

When I finally touched down in Tel Aviv and headed out, I was really surprised to discover that my venture through immigration was simply, "Why are you here?" and "Where are you staying?" Wow. I had a tougher time going to Canada!

My Aunt and Uncle picked me up at the air port and drove me back to their place — the Mormon University.

Dinner was good, and then we were sitting on the couch talking. Aunt looked over at me, and touching my nose asked, "Why did you do this?"

"'Cause I'm a horrible person."

"No, you're not." She then proceeded to tell me a truely quaint story about a girl who used to work here who had a diamond embeded in her tooth. Funny. I was sure she was going to react a bit more strongly than a simple shrug. Did you hear that Mumsy? She doens't care, and neither should you!

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Vacation!

I'm leaving on Friday morning for Israel for 10 days. I'm so excited I could wet myself! However, I shall contain that emotion, as well as all the other emotions broiling up inside. I just wanted to let you all know that I shall be gone. I'm going to do my best to post not only text, but pictures as well. Hopefully all goes well and I am able to do just that.

Wish me luck. Oh, and if I die, just send the flowers to Mumsy.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Unemployed computer geek seeks Job

In case you missed it, I'm currently jobless. That said, I'm also currently looking for a job. If anyone has any lines on potential jobs out there, I'd love to hear about them.

I'm a computer programmer with experience in Q.A.. I have a decent resume, and a kick-A head hunter, who I really don't want to have to pay.

I'm not stuck on Utah, so don't let that be a deterrent.

Yeah. This is probably the most pathetic post I've ever written, but there we have it. Aren't you glad you get to be a part of my sad, sad little world?

Founded

This morning I learned that my fears yesterday were well founded. MyBoss (now, MyFormerBoss) came into my office and delivered the bad news. I'm afraid I held it together as long as it took him to cover all the necessary unpleasant details. After he left I cried as I packed. He did reassure me, however, that he was certain I wouldn't have trouble finding another job.

Everyone on my team stopped in to say goodbye. At least I know I'll be missed. Some of them didn't quite know how to say it, but, then, neither did I.

RayOfSunshine was also layedoff -- at least he expected/wanted it. One other guy on my team got it too. I hope he's ok.

As I was leaving I went to almost everyone's office to say a final good bye. I stopped in and talked with RayOfSunshine. We said our good byes, then shook hands and I turned to leave. He called after me, "A hug would be ok, if you want." "I want." I said as I wrapped my arms around him. You never know who will be ok with that sort of contact.

Next I went to see Carnivore. We said our good byes, and I went to shake his hand. He took mine, then said, "Come here," as he, too, hugged me.

I really wanted to say good bye to MyBoss, now that I had time to totally lose it, as well as GoateeBoy. Neither could be found. I decided that I would take a box down to my car and then return for the remaining box and computer bag and look for them then. I took my first box down and was not unsurprised to see a local TV crew filming the event. Luckily for me, I was the only person in the parking lot, so I got filmed. I went back into the office and asked the receptionist to ring me in, since MyBoss had to take my id badge and key as soon as I got the news. She told me she had to sign me in, and asked my employee id number. I told her what I thought it was, but, I added, I'm not sure, and it doesn't really matter anyway. "Doesn't really matter?" she asked, "As in, you're not coming back?" "No. No, I'm not." She buzzed me in, and I went back to recover my remaining items.

As I was returning to my office -- my former office -- I saw MyBoss and GoateeBoy walking down the hall. I asked for help in grabbing the last two items. MyBoss said of course, and GoateeBoy came along. I kind of wanted to ask MyBoss what I could do better in the future, but I didn't know how to ask in front of GoateeBoy. Perhaps it's for the best.

As I walked out the front door for the last time the receptionist called after me, "Good bye Granola." I had no idea that she knew my name. That touched me. I mean, even if she just looked it up with my id number, she still didn't have to do it.

After we reached my car, and put the boxes in the back I shook hands with MyBoss and GoateeBoy. Then MyBoss said the thing I needed to hear from him the most, simply, he looked at me with respect and kindness in his eyes, and sorrow and regret in his voice as he said simply, "My friend." I wanted to hug him, to thank him for the opportunity I had to work with him, to let him know I understand that it wasn't an easy choice. I did none of those things. I shook his hand back, and smiled feebly. Then I shook GoateeBoy's hand, and they wished me luck, I think, then walked away.

I climbed in my car and broke down. As I was driving out of the parking lot the camera man from the TV crew was crossing the road in front of me. He looked at me, my face all red, looking I'm sure, just as terrible as I felt. He smiled sadly, waved me luck, and I drove off.

After I got home I went to talk to the dorks next door. Only one was home, but he listened to me as I cried and poured out my emotions on him. Eventually I left. He hugged me before I went, I didn't want to let go. I just want someone to hold me, to pet my head and tell him it will all be ok. I know it will. I have to believe it will. I just don't know how.

Following the conversation with the neighbor I went home and called Mumsy. She called Dad and my little sister to let them know. I also called a friend of mine who happens to be a high-tech head hunter. The message I left on his phone went something like this, "Hello, this is Granola, formerly with BigNameCompany. blah blah blah." When he returned my call he didn't even have to ask.

Additionally, one of my cousins is married to a man who works for the same company. After she got the news that he made it through she called me. I really appreciate that.

I had hoped that I would be able to avoid the chopping block, but, I knew. Knowing, while it maybe half the battle, it doesn't make it any easier.

PuppyDogsAndBows came home and I guess our other roommate told her that I was in my room crying. She knocked on the door, and when she came in I said simply, "I don't want to talk about it." "But," she asked tenderly, "it did happen?" "Yes," I nodded. She left me then.

I don't know what I'm going to do. Nor, where I shall go. All I do know is, I am going on my holiday on Friday and I'm going to have the best damn time ever! I'm so excited, I just need to get this out of my system, and I'll be ready once again.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Fears

My biggest consideration when deciding to accept the job that I now have with BigNameCompany was the layoff policy -- once a year, minimum. Now that our fiscal year has drawn to a close, and we didn't make as much money as we thought we ought, said layoffs have reared their ugly heads. Rumor has it, they're set for tomorrow, 10-20% of the workforce. Frankly, I'm scared. Little things that on their own might not mean that much suddenly have huge significance. Take the white board, for example. There is an empty cubicle and for the past few weeks an amusing discussion has been taking place on it. I have been a contributor, and enjoy reading what others write. This morning the white board was blank, someone had erased it. Oh well, I thought, probably the cleaning crew. I wrote a funny note and left. This afternoon, the white board has been cleaned again. Is that because someone thinks it's not funny or is annoyed by the lame conversation? Or, is it a sign that today might be my last full day of work. I'm not really sure. Frankly, I'm unsettled. I really just want to go home and cry and be paranoid. That's pretty useless, however. Since, if I do manage to escape the layoffs tomorrow I will have wasted a day's work. If I end up getting layedoff, I'll just have an extra couple of days of holiday.

Still, I'm scared.