Wow, I have become the biggest blogger-slacker I know. Ok, not really *cough*Mumsy*cough*, but I certainly feel like it. It's been over a week since I posted last, and it's about time for an update, since
so much has been going on!
However, this particular post is going to be about PuppyDogsAndBows and what a psycho-nut job she actually is. I have long made fun of her, but maintained that she is really a nice person. Wednesday's "events" might have me changing that defense.
Wednesday night she called me and asked if I could pick her up from campus. Well, it's not exactly on my way to or from anywhere, but sure, why not. I had just left the office, so I was already in the car. I told her it would be 15 minutes, and I'd see her in the usual spot. I picked her up and we headed home. On the ride she asked if I had any paint she could use. I asked her what the project was. There were a variety of reasons behind this, but mostly I didn't want her using tons of my (expensive) oil paints for some lame project. She told me what it was and I suggested that she might prefer acrylic (much cheaper) because it will dry fast enough to be usable. She agreed and I offered to go with her to the store to help her pick out what she needed. An hour or so later she had changed her mind about the painting (this was all an extra credit assignment for one of her classes) and was going to make Christmas ornaments instead. After some discussion (I think I may have asked why she wanted to do that in a moderately condescending fashion) I suggested that she build her stuff inside a glass ball. She thought this was a great idea, so off to the craft store we went.
During the hour it took her to change her mind we sat at the table while I ate dinner and she looked something up. She made a comment about how she's the smartest person in the house. I laughed at her. That wasn't the nicest thing to do, and probably helped lead to the evenings later events. Nevertheless, she persisted, "And, I'm always right."
"Good!" I replied, I think it's good to think you're generally correct.
"I'm trying to push your buttons." She informed me.
"Well, it's not working."
"You have to have some."
"You're right." I shrugged. "I'm sure I do. Those just aren't they."
Eventually, we left the house and made our way to the craft store. On the ride over we had a conversation that pretty much ended when she announced that someday I will be old and all alone in my house surrounded by stained glass. I told her I wouldn't be old. She asked why not and I told her that I just wouldn't, that I would probably live to be 70 or 75 at the most. She pressed the issue, and I said that my folks would probably die around that age too (mostly because I didn't want to talk about it). I said it so matter of factly, almost like it didn't bother me, and I think that bothered her.
Once in the store we decided to look for the balls so we could figure out how to get the stuff inside. We separated and I found them then found her. We had a discussion about the balls and how she didn't think she would be able to do it. I then suggested that she might want to try
these and she could probably find them at Wal*Mart.
"Do you know for sure that Mal*Mart has them?"
"I don't know! I don't have the entire Wal*Mart stock memorized!"
At this point I apparently made her feel embarrassed and stupid. Frankly, it was a funny thing to say, but she too offense.
She hushed me (
never hush me because I'm talking in normal tones in a public place) and proceeded to tell me that she felt embarrassed and that I made people feel stupid. I told her that I didn't see it that way. "Well," she replied, "if there was 20 other people here and they all heard you say that they would feel the same way. You don't see it because you said it."
"No, every one knows that no one could
possibly have the entire stock of Wal*Mart memorized, not even Wal*Mart employees could do that!"
She argued her point at me then I said, "I'm sorry if you feel that w..."
She rudely cut me off and chewed me out for a second about how loud I am and how rude I was being. That pissed me off, here I was, try to apologize for making her feel stupid and I was being demeaned for the effort. "What the HELL?" I yelled (well, not exactly yelled, but I did raise my voice. A lot. "I can't even EFFING apologize?!" With that I thrust the stupid ornaments into her hands and turned and walked away. No way was I going to deal with this. She could call my cell phone when she was ready to go home. And call she did. Only, it wasn't for a ride, it was to tell me that FreeLoader was picking her up, and she was waiting in front of the store.
I walked outside to talk to her. She was sitting on the curb and I made a very rude, and very conscience, decision to stand next to her. Had I been a nicer person (which I'm clearly not) I would have sat next to her -- brought myself to her level. However, I figured, if she wanted that she knew how to stand. Plus, she's taller than I am, so it would have given her the psychological advantage. "Look," I said, "I can give you a ride home."
"No. FreeLoader is already on her way."
"Ok." long pause. "I don't know if I'm supposed to feel..." I didn't get to finish that because she interrupted me, yet again, to tell me how awful I am. "SHUT UP!" I yelled.
She was mortified. She lowered her voice and went on a 10-15 minute tirade about what a horrible person I am. How everything in the living room is mine (generally true, with a few exceptions) and how I never asked any of them if they wanted any of that stuff out there.
"That is
not true!" I contradicted, "Just last night I asked you if you liked those pictures in there and you said 'yes'."
She chose to ignore that fact and went on about how everything in there is a "Monument to how great you are. We all"
side note here: why is it when people don't have the balls to tell you how they really feel they resort to the 'we all'? "finally got tired of it, that's why we moved your cello."
"Huh. The only thing I didn't ask about was the cello. Frankly, it never occurred to me that someone would object to having a cello out."
"Well, we did."
"Apparently, and notice how it's in my room."
She pushed on. Mostly repeating herself over and over and over again. My favorite thing she said was that I turn everything into a "Granola Production!" She cited the fact that when we are at church and people (who don't know my roommates, because they hardly go, and when they do they certainly don't talk) talk to us I take over. True. When my friends talk to me I tend to talk to them. "And," she finally reached her climax, "You're not a
damn vegan, so quit telling people you are! Quit telling people you're something special when you're not!" Okaaayyy then. I didn't want to ask her when the last time she saw me eating non-vegan foods or telling people that I am vegan was. I think that would have just heightened her anger. Oh, have I mentioned that we were in public during all this. Oh yeah. And, she was yelling.
“If this has been a problem for
months why didn’t you tell me
months ago?”
“It’s not easy to tell someone that they are annoying!”
Well, honey, you’re doing a damn good job of it now. Oh, but I forgot, “you all” feel this way.
She did continue, however, repeating repeating herself about how I turn everything into a "Granola Production", and I am inconsiderate and make everything all about me and that I violate peoples' space. "When?" I demanded. "When have I
ever violated anyone's space? When? Name one time that I violated anyone's space.
One time!" Naturally, she couldn't, of all things, space and privacy is sacrosanct to me. If anything she constantly violates mine, she has no problem just walking in my room and using my things with out asking. Oh yeah, I violate people's space. "That's not what I meant," was all she could manage. I persisted, "name one time, just once that I violated anyone's space." She ignored me and reverted back to how I never think about other people. My favorite part is how it ended, FreeLoader drove up, and PuppyDogsAndBows simply stood up and walked away, mid-sentence. How surreal is that?
I got in my car and realized that she had left her keys, so I called her -- not surprisingly, she didn't answer the phone. I went and spent the next 3 or 4 hours with a friend of mine. Eventually I got home around 12:30 and when I walked in PuppyDogsAndBows was awake and watching a movie. I gave her the keys and went to bed. The next morning I left and closed both of my bedroom doors. I usually leave one at least slightly ajar. Today I wanted her to know that she may. not. go into my room. She didn't.
Mostly I'm over it, now. I was a bit pissed off at her -- not hurt -- because it was so insane and public, but she's nuts, so that's just part of it. However, I figured that everything has a bit of truth, so I started thinking about what she said. I stripped away all of the crap and got down to this: she thinks I'm cocky and conceited, and rude. Ok. Let's wrap cocky and conceited into a nice ball. and call them one attribute. She also thinks the guys down the street are cocky. Personally, I think they are funny and self-confident. Perhaps that's what the deal is. She sees self-confidence as conceit. I called Mumsy, Dad and one of my sisters to ask them if there is a difference between cocky and self-confident; and, which one am I. Mumsy and my sister both agreed that there is a difference and I’m self-confident Dad, on the other hand, voted that I am cocky. Thanks Pops.
The only thing I can really think of is that she has such a low self-esteem (which is, frankly, tragic), and juxtaposed to my very healthy self-esteem she must feel very self-conscious and apparently inadequate. That is not my fault, that’s just the way life is.
Thursday night she got home late and when she walked in I asked her how her day went. “It sucked.” Why? I asked, “I’ve just been depressed for the last week about some stuff.” Ahh hah! Now we’re getting somewhere. Since she’s the type of person who wants you to, I asked, “About what?” “I really don’t want to talk about it. Thanks.” I see. Then I got to thinking, it’s been about a month since she last flipped her lid – Oh. My. GOSH! She’s PMS-ing! Grand.
Fast-forward to this morning: she was doing her hair and our other roommate, QuietOne, was standing there talking to her. I had read something funny that I wanted to share. I headed over to that end of the house just in time to hear PuppyDogsAndBows ask, “What do you think...” When she noticed me her voice trailed off, “Never mind, I’ll ask you later.”
“What?” I asked innocently.
“Nothing. It’s something that I’m sure you’ll have an opinion on, and make me feel stupid.”
Well, honey, when it’s a matter of taking the fact and driving it home, I guess I do that pretty well. “Ok,” I shrugged, “whatever.”
Does anyone else find it ironic that she lays into me about what a horrible person I am, and how I need to change, and then the first opportunity that I have to demonstrate that I’ve changed she prevents it. Nice. Did I mention that she's insane? She is.
