Dinner and Conversation

At 4:40 today I spontaneously developed a splitting headache. I figured I could come home and take a nap and get up at 7 to be ready for my 7:30 date. So, I did just that. At 7pm I woke up and was just getting out of bed and changing my clothes when there was a knock at the door. Unfortunately, I was half way through the changing my clothes process, so my date had to stand on the opposite side of my front door as I hastily threw some clothes on. Fortunately, I had picked out my outfit already, so it was just as matter of putting it on.

I opened the door and let him in. Apologized and said that I had laid down to rest and hadn't planned on falling asleep. Not strictly true, but nicer than "I thought you said 7:30." I then asked him to take a seat while I brushed my teeth, and then we could be on our way. I did that, brushed my hair, and in 5 minutes was ready to go. He asked if I needed more time to which I was, blissfully able to answer 'no'.

Oh, did I mention he showed up in a t-shirt? Essentially what he usually wears. No worries, with that as a fashion point I put on flip flops instead of the nice dress shoes I was planning. The great thing about having a no shoes rule is I can always dress up or down an outfit based on my date's attire and make it look utterly planned.

We ended up at a nice little vegan restaurant I had recommended. Actually, there are two locations for this place, and I was thinking of the one I had been to. We ended up in the Seattle location, which has a much nicer ambiance than the other. We had a good time eating and chatting.

When he dropped me off he said a couple of times that he had a really great time. So, he'll probably be asking me out again—in another 18 months or so.

Manipulating?

I was chatting with InternBill today about the busy week I have ahead. I mentioned "and, I have to fit a date in sometime this week." He said "Really? cool! :-)". We joked ever so briefly about me actually having dates sometimes. Then, I realized it was 5 o'clock and I had to run for my bus. Fast forward 3 hours. We're chatting again (because, yeah, that's the way we roll), and he mentioned very casually ('btw' actually) that during his 4 week long road trip he'll be stopping in Seattle for a couple of hours (since we're so on the way to... anything? Actually, they're going to Mt. Rainer, which is a different story.). And, he threw in, "we should get lunch." Sounds like a guy who is realizing that he had probably make some sort of move before I'm taken.

Frankly, that makes me happy. I feel a little like I manipulated him into it, but I didn't really. So, yeah. Lunch with InternBill... in a month. I don't really know anyone who schedules dates months in advance. Oh, well, I guess it works for us.

On the Mt. Rainer thing: they'll probably be camping there for the night and he wants me to go spend the evening—and ideally the night—up there. I told him I was in for the evening, but, it's a school night, so I might have to come back home to sleep. He's excited. So am I.

Informational

Sometime this week I met with the lead for another team internal to InternetCompany to talk about his team and maybe moving over there.

We met in Starbucks and as we were chatting over warm beverages a buddy of mine that I ride the bus with (no, really, I don't know him any other way—we ride the bus together) came up and started chatting with me. I tried to end the conversation quickly, but he persisted just a little bit. After he left I turned to the manager and apologized. "That must have been a little awkward for you. Sorry." We talked briefly about how I know the other fellow and he asked if he worked for the company. "Yes, but I don't know where, or doing what, we've never worked together."

I sent my buddy an email immediately after thanking him for being so suave. Thanks, thanks a lot dude.

Application

Last week I submitted my application to another company local to Seattle. While I was submitting my resume I noticed that their application site (it looks like it may have been a third party system, but still!) had a lot of security holes in it. Right after I noticed this glaring hole I was shocked when they asked for my SSN and wouldn't let me leave it blank. I listed all 0's and figured, if not listing my social was going to break the deal, then I didn't want to work for them anyway.

I got an automated email back thanking me for my application and noting that it would take 2-4 weeks before I heard back from them, if they were interested.

On Friday night I received an email from a recruiter asking for an electronic copy of my resume. I sent it over Saturday afternoon.

Hopefully that rocks!

Advice

Apparently last Sunday the Bishop reamed the guys in our ward for not asking the girls out on dates. Well, I have to assume that's what happened.

Because this is what happened today:

Right after sacrament meeting a guy in the ward (who was in the old ward. In fact, he's the guy in question in this post). Came up to me and asked, "Hey, Granola, did you hear what the Bishop talked to us about last week?"

"Uh, nope."

"Well, I'd like to talk to you about it this week. Maybe over dinner?"

Frankly, mad props to him. I had pretty much concluded that he didn't have it in him. I mean, the last blip on the radar was in October...of 2006 when he first asked for me number. I know he has continued to like me, but, yeah, I didn't think he would ever get up the courage to ask me out.

I agreed, because (while I'm not interested per se), my personal rule is: always say 'yes' to the first date. And, really? It took him 18 months from the time he got my number to the time he asked me out. The least I could do is go out with him once.

Walking

I've spent the last hour or so walking around my apartment with the new hiking boot on to break them in. I must say: I really like them. It's weird, however, to wear shoes in my place, since I have a strict NO SHOES! policy.

In a minute I'm going to make the trek to take out the trash. The only reason that's notable is because there are stairs involved (helpful for breaking in new hiking boots). Well, that, and I'm in my junk clothes. I have to be some what presentable to leave the apartment&mash;which shall require changing pants. I don't want to unlace the shoes, so...we'll see if these beats fit through the legs of my jeans.

Shoes

I decided that it's about time I had some good hiking boots. So, today I went to REI and bought a pair.

In an effort to make sure I ended up with a great fitting pair I put on my most uncomfortable shoes and walked around for over an hour—just to make my poor little feetsies swell. It worked.

I also found a pair that I think are going to be awesome! I really really really hope so.

$230 later, they had better be the best damn pair of shoes I've ever owned.

Early To Bed

I was tired, so I hit the sack at 10:30 last night.

The unfortunate result of that was I was awake at 7.

Since I couldn't get back to sleep I decided to go to work early.

I got to the office at 8 am.

It was great to have that extra hour of quiet time to work. I took off a bit early to hit the gym, since it's been rather hit-and-miss this week for me.

Up and (Nearly) Ready

I finally purchased a URL for the Web site I built for Mumsy and her face painting buddies. And, I also put the site up.

Tragically, we're still missing content. But! Things are looking good. I'm quite pleased with it, actually.

Miscommunication

As it turns out, the guy I mentioned here who I thought Sine said had a girlfriend, doesn't. Or, at least, Sine has no clue if he does. That certainly clears things up. But, at least now I'm back to not knowing, and I don't have to dislike him on principle.

However, it still stands that (a) he's not that attractive; and (2) the other guy was much much much more my type (physically).

30 Seconds

No, not "To Mars" (um... it's a band).

No, this 30 seconds is far cooler than theirs. Today I shaved 30 seconds off my average mile. Which means: I'm running 3 miles in just under 30 minutes, or a 10 minute mile. This is far better than what I managed in high school. Interestingly, I weigh notably more now than I ever did in high school. I'm thinking it's the black fingernail polish. It's got to be that or the fact that I run 3 miles nearly every day now. Really, I'm leaning more towards the black fingernail polish.

In related news: Runners World says I shouldn't run every day. Well, I may have to adjust my schedule.

Chatting Up

After FHE last night I spent about 45 minutes - an hour talking to the first guy mentioned in this post. We had an interesting conversation about women's roles both on earth and in the eternities.

I mentioned it to Sine today and he said, "Oh, that guy with the girlfriend with the weird name?"

Uh... girlfriend? He spent an hour chatting me up and was able to mention an ex-wife and a 4 year old child, but somehow forgot about his girlfriend? Nice. Why are people that way?

Yet another confusing happening:

Sunday at ward potluck I sat next to a guy I had never met before, but he was ridiculously attractive. After a long fun chat he left and I was talking to a friend about him. "Oh, yeah," she said, "he has a girlfriend up in Canada."

Again, what's the deal with boys chatting me up for an hour and never mentioning their girlfriends? Thanks, thanks a lot.

Why Green?

It's Earth Day, Sillys! I'll probably leave it green for the rest of the month in honor.

Lesson

Sunday afternoon I was asked to give the FHE lesson this evening. I didn't have any time to work on it until 6:30 this evening. But, I couldn't come up with anything good to talk about. I called Mumsy and asked her for suggestions, she gave me a bunch. I decided to talk about Isaiah. My favorite author. So, once I got to the ward building I started preparing the lesson. I think I took maybe 10 minutes to prepare, and gave the lesson. It turned out quite well, if I do say so myself.

Have I mentioned how fortunate I am to have the talent of being able to give lessons on the fly? Wow.

Evidence

There's an old saying (I think it's from C.S. Lewis, but I'm not sure) which goes something like this: "If someone were to accuse you of being Christian would there be evidence enough to convict you?"

I have a coworker who I'm pretty positive is Mormon, but I haven't asked him outright. I keep looking for little telltale signs of his Mormonism.

The biggest hint so far has been his appearance. He has short hair (like: missionary short), wears a button up everyday with the top button unbuttoned and his crewneck white undershirt sticking out the top. This is paired over nice jeans and nice (but not dress) shoes. Ah, yes, I suspected a Mormon from the first moment I met him.

Last week we were at a meeting and I was standing behind him talking quietly with a fellow coworker. TheMormon? asked what we were talking about. "You," I said. "We said something about your work performance, and also that you look like you just left Utah."

He laughed, "Yup. I also have 12 wives."

"You must be from Kanab."

We laughed. There's something about Kanab, Utah that just screams 'polygamy.' Not sure what it is, but it could have a great deal to do with the Southern border towns in Utah all having that long-lasting legacy. It's just such an easy target. It also serves well as a secret handshake. "I know about Kanab, do you?" sort of thing.

Interestingly, later that day he was struggling with some things and said 'dammit' about 3 times. Each time I kiddingly chastised him for his "foul language." Honestly, that's the only time I think I've every heard him swear. Thus, further cementing my certainty of his religion.

I want to ask him even more, now.

Ironically, I don't think he thinks that I'm Mormon, at all. I think it's the way I dress—always modestly, but never in the typical "Utah fashion." Meh. Funny how we use clothes as a gauge for culture and religion.

Renewed Dedication

I was invited to a Singles' dinner Saturday night. Where by "singles" I mean: Mormon singles aged 31+ (up to, and nearly including, death).

It was a depressing affair. My grandmother's wake was more thrilling. (To be perfectly honest, my family has great wakes: we all get together after the funeral and go out to a nice, but not upscale, restaurant and really just celebrate the life of the newly departed loved one. No one talks in hushed tones, no sir!) However, this, was, well, sad.

At the end I left with a renewed desire to start dating again.

I told this to InternBob to which he replied, "That lucky Mormon vegan!" Lucky indeed.

Busy Little Bee

Saturday found me getting up at 7 am and heading to a carpool for an Earth Day celebration clean-up-the-park-a-thon. It also found snow in Olympia—30 minutes South of where we were going to be working, and moving Northward. The event was canceled. I was kind of sad, because I really wanted to do something organized this year, but, alas, that was thwarted. Instead I:

• Went to the gym for 1 1/2 hours. The steam room (which has been out of service for the last week) was finally fixed, but the door was stuck ajar, so it was ok, but not great.


• Went to Pike's Place Market to pick up some produce. Got some good stuff!


• Came back to my apartment to prepare the fruit for frozen fruit salad.


• Got a $20 pedicure. It was, well, a $20 pedicure. My toenails are dark blue. Yay! (Mostly, I was just doing annual maintenance)


• Got a hair cut. Well, a lot of them. She took off between 10" and a foot. She kept asking "Are you sure?" Yes, I'm sure! It's just hair, and I'm tired of the current cut. So there. It's ok. Not great. So far the only person to notice is my friend who is a hair dresser.


• Walked around the mall for a bit and ended up popping into Bath and Body Works. I spent too much there.


• Went to the Temple.


• Went to Whole Foods to pick up some more groceries for the aforementioned frozen fruit salad, and also some tofu cream cheese for today's pot luck.


• At the last minute I was invited to this dinner. I went. More on that in the next post.


• Went to a movie with a friend.

Yeah, not a busy day, at all.

Forest Ranger

In the course of a discussion with Sine the other day I was expressing my frustration with companies that don't seem to care about Mama Earth, etc. In the midsts of my impassioned speech he asked, "Why do you just give it all up and become a Forest Ranger?"

Not a bad idea, and, hey, if my efforts to keep LaBoca from becoming my boss fail, I just may.

That said, I just looked the the salary range of the average park ranger, let's just say I'm way over paid. I don't think I could live on what they earn!

Politics

Well, I've managed to avoid it for 2 years, but the time has come when I get to rise to the occasion and play office politics.

I've begun to organize what we're jokingly calling my mutiny. My boss warned me to be very careful about how I approach the whole matter.

He asked me if I knew what I was doing and I said, "Yes. This will either work, or it will destroy my career at InternetCompany."

I think he was satisfied with that answer. I hope I am.

Multi-Page CYA

This week found me fixing LaBoca's royal screw up. Where by royal, I mean: I can't believe the thing hasn't broken before. I spent the second half of Wednesday, all day Thursday, and a couple hours today working on this fix and getting it code reviewed.

Yesterday near the end of the work day I heard her say something to the effect of that which I was fixing should have been working. Then, this morning I learned that she had asked my boss last night, "Why is Granola working on that?"

I quickly replied, "Because she effed it up. That's why."

He told me to calm down, but what he didn't realize is, I was calm. That was my clear, concise, reasonable answer. I was working on this because she screwed it up. I think that people often take my calm answers for over reacting. Frankly, the fact of the matter is: I choose to react the way I do. I like that sometimes I'm a little bit of a drama queen, it's my choice.

However, in the interest of answering her question, and covering my own butt I sent an email outlining why I made the changes that I made, and the complete logic flow behind the changes. It ended up being at least pages long, maybe closer to four. I kind of laughed with my boss about it, but he understood exactly why I did it.

As did everyone else on the mailing list who got to read it.

Mutiny!

My boss leaves the team on Friday.

LaBoca thinks she's going to be the boss of everyone. No way on this green earth is that going to happen. The first act of her attempting to seize control came yesterday evening when she scheduled us all for a weekly team meeting.

So, yours truly exercised a huge amount of subversiveness. I sent around an email to the team that is being disbanded. I "suggested" that we have a team meeting to get together and plan the way we're not going to report to her (um, I exercised a whole lot more tact than that, well, maybe just a little). The team raised to the occasion: we're getting together the morning before her little meeting to see what we can do to keep ourselves not reporting to her.

Hopefully all goes well.

Nerdcore Punk Rock?

Today I tried to entreat my coworkers to join me in starting a nerdcore punk band.

For some reason this idea was promptly rejected. Tragic, really. I can see us going places.

Or, maybe not so much.

Covered in Beees!

There is a bit from Eddie Izzard entitled "Covered in Bees!" Pure comic genius! Behold:



The point in mentioning that? My face is covered in hives and I can't figure out why. Yes, just my face. I think I'm going to go buy some Benadryl to clear it up.

Not as funny as Eddie Izzard, I'm sorry.

Tying the Knot

Ah, but not in the way you think.

Tonight for FHE we played "battle of the sexes." Initially I refused to play because I hate those games so very very much. I did, however, hang around so I could partake of social hour afterwards. Then, at one point I heard someone say, "Have Granola do it!" I asked what they wanted me to do. "Tie a tie," came the response.

I walked to the front of the room and asked, "What kind of knot do you want? A Full Windsor or half?" I think the guys knew they were sunk at that point. And, wouldn't you know it?, I came trough. After much shock and awe from both sides of the room I went back to my place at the back wall. 10 points easily earned.

Then a question was asked and I didn't answer. The girls ended up getting it wrong and one asked a clarifying question. I answered (since none of the guys seemed as if they were going to), "Where were you 2 seconds ago?" I was asked. "I'm not playing. This game makes my inner Feminist cry." There was a call to have her cry on the outside—I turned them down.

I pipped in once more when it was apparent that no one was going to get "grout" as "the fine cement like substance used to seal cracks between tiles." This one was worth only one.

And, again, at the question, "What is a Havana?" A cigar, naturally. One more point.

Then, near the end of the competition the question of knots came up again. This time, the call was for a bowline. There was some more discussion before I put up my hand and once again returned to the front of the room, and promptly forgot whether the stationary end went above or under the working end. Lucky for me, there was some discussion as I was tying the knot, and I was able to tie it before anyone realized that I was (briefly—like for about 10 seconds) stumped. Yet another knot successfully tied, and another 10 points for the girls. All I have to say is: all those years in Girl Scouts, and knot tying competitions at jamboree, really paid off!

On my way back the the back of the room one of the guys indignantly shouted, "Hey, that's not fair! She's not even playing and the girls got 21 points from her!" Sore losers.

After the competition I was asked how I knew how to tie a tie, "doesn't everyone?" I asked, quite honestly. I find it hard to believe that people just don't know how.

Later still Sine told me, "Good job, I knew we were sunk as soon as I saw you walking up there to tie that tie. I told the guy next to me, 'Oh no, Granola ties ties better than I do!'" I smiled and laughed, but, it's true.

Third Time

As it turns out, I think I was the only person in our ward who made it to the Temple all three nights scheduled this week. I kind of feel a little bad for announcing it to some friends, but, well, there was an extra bucket of paintballs on the line (which, I didn't need, not get). Apparently, the Bishop (who was standing nearby when I made the announcement) told a few people this morning (where by 'a few' I mean, possibly around 20). Thanks a lot, Bish... I didn't particularly want that circulating.

Paintballing

Yesterday my ward went paintballing. It was awesome! We had over 50 people show up.

Tragically, my only battle wound is a small bruise on my left hand where I was hit in the first round. Oh, and some scraped up knees, but those are to be expected.

I shall definitely have to try this whole paintballing thing again.

Oh, and the good news? Paintballs are actually biodegradable. Not bad, boys.

Back in the USSR

Except, far less cool.

I have been asked to be on the Family Home Evening committee, again. I'm amazingly not thrilled. I was incredibly tempted to tell them 'no.'

I really really really don't want to do this again. I did it for over 18 months the last time around. Why, oh why, have I been asked to do it again?

Coffee Anyone?

I had a meeting at 2:30 today. When it finished my coworker said, "Coffee (or whatever) upstairs?" (Huge building, great view.) Off we went. We continued to talk about the contents of the meeting, and just kind of chilled. Eventually we headed back downstairs.

I got back to my desk and logged in, when I realized—a project manager had asked me much earlier in the week if I would join her for coffee in the same place. I turned around and headed back upstairs.

Fortunately, I still had my warm (herbal) tea from before, so I drank that as we talked about the role I play in the team.

I feel like I didn't do much today. Again.

Virus and Plague

I have a friend in the medical profession. She's bothered by the fact that I call my latest illness the "Viral Death Plague of Doom." Not because it sounds, well, far more serious than it was, but because, "The Plague was not caused by a virus!" Be that as it may, since the doctor couldn't be fit to give me a name for it, I shall continue with the misnomer of Viral Death Plague...of Doom.

Sore Throat

I've had a sore throat every since I first got sick. It backed off there for a little while, but has come back with a vengeance. I can hardly swallow. Sooo not fun.

I'm a whole lot paranoid that I'm going to develop a peritonsillar abscess (I got one a number of years ago, and it is entirely not fun). So, Each day I check my bite (one symptom is lockjaw, who knew?), and my tonsils to make sure they're still mostly normal sized. I'm sure I'm just being a worry wort.

Temple Attendance

This week held for me:

Tuesday: Ward baptisms
Wednesday: Ward Temple Night
Thursday: Stake Temple Night

Impressively, I made all 3. Wednesday was a close one, I stayed after work to work out a little bit, and ended up having to put my skirt on in the parking lot.

Tonight I had to get there by 5:45 (the time I normally get home from work). I drove to the park and ride, and, once again, found myself changing in the temple parking lot. But, I was there.

And, I needed it.

Annual Reviews

Ah, that time again—the 1 hour you spend 3 months preparing for which boils down to your boss telling you how much you're worth to the company.

My review was fine, nothing spectacular, somethings kind of came as a surprise (my boss doesn't understand the issue that I'm facing), somethings I expected (I'm brilliant), and other things were kind of odd (despite practically offering me a promotion to team lead my 'leadership skills' were ranked as 'needs improvement.' (HUH???)

There were two things that upset me:

1. My raise was less than half of what I got last year; my boss claims the tool recommended the percentage I got. For the record, my rent went up by a greater percentage than my salary.

2. My previous manager (the one who quit because he was so bad) filled out some feedback for me, and said (seriously, honestly) that "Based on feedback metrics and recruiting recommendation [I] had to be pulled from the interview loop." Um... what?!? Ignoring for a minute the fact that "conduct 3 interviews a week" is included in my performance review, but, seriously? This is the first I had ever heard of that. I mean, what's wrong with my interviewing? Do I suck (I happen to think I'm good)? Is it because very few people pass my bar (I went about 9 interviews straight turning people down, maybe if they didn't suck, or if LaBoca actually picked decent candidates...)? Am I too lax (um, doubt that)? What, what, is it? And, why couldn't he say to me, "Hey, Granola, you need to lower your standards just a bit. We want more people getting through." Sure, that's easy enough to fix. I just don't understand. Blissfully, I wasn't really rated on that.

Speaking of Boys You Shouldn't Date

Sweetheart is dating a boy who isn't LDS, and a number of us are kind of worried that this might become an issue for her. As much as I want to be happy for her that she found a boy who tells her how beautiful she is (she really is, despite what her low self esteem tells her), who values her, and seems to care for her, I'm hesitant because she spends a lot of time with him, and none of us have met him. Also, she seems to have stopped attending church—at least our ward. And, that's just down-right silly. I was talking this over with some friends last night, and they seem to agree.

As we were wrapping up the conversation I remembered that I was supposed to chat with InternBill that evening, so, I excused myself, "Speaking of boys we're not supposed to be dating...I've gotta run!" And, off I went.

The conversation wasn't all that deep and meaningful, but it was full of him listening to me gripe and complain about my 'raise,' which, honestly, is what I really needed.

Al-Anon

Fox called me up today to tell me that her best friend had just broken up with her boyfriend of 7 years. I'm not sure why she called me mid-day to tell me this, but she did. I told her, "Ouch! She has my sympathy and pity."

Then, she said, "And, he's an alcoholic, and said he quit, but when she was doing the spring cleaning found boxes of empty beer cans shoved under the bed."

So, that's why she called me.

I told Fox that her friend needed to get to an Al-Anon meeting, and now. That's one thing that I think really would have helped me a ton with ExOfNote. Really, there's little that can substitute for a support system of people who are in a similar situation as you have found yourself. Unfortunately, the Al-Anon meetings in my area are Monday night, and I had a responsibility as FHE coordinator every Monday night. Had I been thinking more clearly and more about myself I probably would have asked the Bishop to ask someone else to do my job so I could take care of me. Fox argued with me, offering up excuses for her friend. I simply repeated myself, and made my point again, but differently. "Tell her," I said, in conclusion, "that from one who has been there, she needs to do it for her, for her healing, and I wish that I had done it."

"She'll be upset at me for even telling you about it."

Somehow, I don't see how someone who lives clear across the country knowing about your (now) ex-partner's drinking problem is really going to impact her life. Hopefully, however, she heeds my advice and gets the healing I could have used.

It's a sad irony that this came up in my life in the month that ExOfNote's problems really came to a head.

Carbon Offsets

Let me tell you why Carbon Offsets suck:

The best analogy I've heard is "papal indulgences"—the guilty pay for their sins (quite literally) and feel much better about it.

Here's the deal, there are three basic approaches to carbon 'credits'.

1. A company invests in alternate energy sources, be it windmills, or electricity, etc.
2. A company plants tree. My favorite quote regarding tree planting comes from Woodlands expert Oliver Rackham: "Telling people to plant trees is like telling them to drink more water to keep down rising sea levels." It's a good idea, but it just isn't going to do it.
3. A company pays another company to take their trash and dump it. Thus, company A has a lower environmental impact score, while company B has a higher one. This may seem unappealing to company B, however, if there's always the incentives programs to lower their own carbon emissions.

And, the hilarious (in a sad, sad, way) thing about it all: these companies are passing the bill on to the consumers ("Want to reduce your carbon footprint? Buy carbon credits to offset your flight to Paris.") and then get the credit for participating in carbon offset programs.

Join me in my cause: 1 strong against carbon offsets!

To Do List

Today I was clearing off my desk and found a to do list that dates back to late December / early January.

Here were the top two items (in post-it note yellow):

Seems somethings never change.

Raining Men

A guy I have never seen before walked into family home evening tonight and helped himself into the conversation I was having on the other side of the (mostly empty) room. I looked over to acknowledge what he was saying, and then looked again. While he's not a particularly attractive man (not unattractive, either, for the record) he certainly has the right look. Where by "right look" I mean, he dresses in a similar fashion to my own. You might recall the recent conversation we had on how important dress may or may not be. Well, this guy's look said, "Yeah, I'm Mormon, but I'm ok with who I am." I instantly wanted to get to know him better.

I think he felt the same way. After the lesson I got up and was talking to a couple of friends, and he came over and said hi to them, then made a point to introduce himself to me. When I said I hadn't seen him around he said that I must not come around all that often.

So, yeah, I think he's interested. It'll be fun to see how that plays out.

Also occurring this evening: I learned that the boy I've on-and-off had a crush on is now dating someone. Nuts!

And...No InternBill update. Yeah, I know you thought it was coming. But, nah, got nothin'.

Good Time to Throw in the Towel

I'm thinking now might be a good time to throw in the towel on anything happening between InternBob and me.

I should definitely cut bait while I'm ahead.

Now, why can't I?

Freak Out part deux

Saturday I sent InternBill a text to see if he was alright, since he didn't seem that way Friday night. He said he was fine. Later I got him to tell me what the problem was. It boiled down to (he claims) he was hanging out with some girl Friday night and she just didn't reciprocate.

Frankly, he was a bit upset for some random chick not reciprocating. And, you could twist that to apply to me, if you wanted to.

Now I'm nowhere closer to figuring out what on Earth is going on. On one hand: he could be all about just flirting over instant messenger, on the other hand: he could want more. As a girl friend of mine pointed out tonight, though, "he can't be throwing tantrums if all he's after is the IM flirtation.... he can get that wherever you are." So, so very true.

Freak Out

Tonight I spent the evening updating my resume. Anyone know of any good companies hiring software testers?

Around midnight (or, 3am his time) InternBill signed on. I said 'hi' and expressed (for the second time in two days) that I was working on my resume.

"This sucks." I declared.

Then, the unexpected happened. He kind of freaked out on me. "Once again," he declared, "girls suck."

I tried asking him what was wrong only to be completely stonewalled with comments like, "it doesn't matter," "don't worry about it," and "I'll talk to you later."

I asked him who she is, and what she's done to hurt him, but he wouldn't tell me—very much unlike him.

I started to wonder if he was talking about me. The few times I've mentioned leaving he's asked me not to, and told me not to, and tried to come up with reasons why I should stay. The problem is: he's never indicated that he is hoping to pursue anything once he gets back out here, so I'm always left to wonder if he just wants me to stay so he has a friend, or if he wants me to stay so he can maybe have a girlfriend.

Then, he committed the biggest im tell of all: he said my name.

You may think this is nothing, but I've learned over the years that when someone takes the time to type out your name in instant messenger (even if your name is a whole two letters long), that there's something more going on. So, while you might read, "Don't worry about it, Granola." I read, "Don't worry about it. Holy crap there's so much I want to say right now and I don't know how to say it all, or what to say, or even if I should say anything at all."

I fear that the only thing to do is to have that conversation. You know the one, it goes something like this, "So, um, do you like me, like me? Or do you just like me?" And then, you have to be prepared to act on the result. No matter which way the cards fall. Which can be scary as hell.

Gay or InternBill?

Hilarious images! So, there's this magazine which I don't read, but, apparently, their very last page of every issue is "Gay or..." and they pick a fashion style and openly mock it buy comparing it to 'gay fashion'. The whole point is (in my opinion): 'who cares? Every style could be construed as something it's not.' With that I give you the two that most closely mock InternBill (you actually have to click through to the large image and read the text. It's great!):

The Prep:
Sans Cashmere Sweater, him to a 't'.



The Socialite's Husband:
Mostly because it's funny. Oh, and he wears loafers. all. the. time.

Smells Right

Reason number seven hundred fifty sixteen (75(16)) why I should date InternBill:

He smells like this:



Amd, sometimes this:




While I smell like this:



Or this:



And always this:



Yes, I realize that one is a bit less animal friendly while the other is proudly vegan (um, reason 347 why we shouldn't date?), but we both smell delicious!

All Wrong

Reason number eight hundred and twelve (812) that I can't date InternBill.

He dresses like this:



I dress more like this:



I'm not saying fashion is everything; I'm saying you can tell a lot about a person by their fashion. Though, what could be more punk rock than dating a loafer wearing preppy?

P.S. In case you're curious, it took me nearly an hour to find that picture of Avril to demonstrate my 'fashion' sense.

Options

I talked with my boss today about the offer. I asked him if I am inclined to take the position what would the next steps be. He said, "Well, right now we're exploring all the options, and that's one of them."

Other options he outlined were:
1. Have LaBoca take over as manager of his team, essentially promoting her from lead to manager.
2. Bring back my previous manager (the one who was surprised when it turns out that I'm not incompetent).
3. Continue to explore other options.

Unfortunately, my choice of actions line up with the options like this:
1. Turn in my 2 week's notice, and then take 2 weeks vacation immediately.
2. Start looking for a job immediately, but don't quit until I have something else lined up.
3. Explore other options.

Frustratingly, I've never had my career moves dictated by other people's action. I really am not particularly comfortable with making choices this way, but I don't really see any other options.

Yes, I'm anxious.

Got Once Again

This year's April Fools had me telling Mumsy that InternBill showed up here in Seattle and, well, here's a rough transcript:

Me: So, uh, interesting problem
Mumsy: What?
Me: InternBill showed up at work this morning (despite the fact that he's supposed to be at school half way across the country), confessed his undying love and blah blah blah
Mumsy: (she asked a far too revealing and personal question to post on the interwebs. Suffice it to say, the answer wasn't the one she wanted to hear).
Me: Far more importantly: homeslice is 22!!!
Mumsy: LOL!! 2 strikes
Me: But, he's really cute!
Mumsy: cute is nice. ball 1
Me: and wicked smart and FUNNY
Mumsy: ball 2 and 3
Me: and... he makes me tingly inside (I started to feel a little bad here.)
Mumsy: hummmm. walk? on by?
Me: We're gonna try it for a little bit. See what happens.
Mumsy: (lots of cautioning about robbing the cradle, etc)
Me: I didn't say we're getting married. sheesh.
Mumsy: LOL--well, you know that Mormon culture: dating=marriage :) (So, SO true)
Me: But, there's one problem...it's April 1st!! Bwahahaaaaaaaaa
Mumsy: :P Not nice to fool your mama!

He he!!! Yeah, I'm evil. It's half the basis of my appeal.

Ironically, I told InternBill that Sine asked me to marry him, but I just couldn't do it. He didn't believe me—too obvious, apparently. I told him it was that or confess my undying love for him. He said that one would have been too obvious, as well. Tragic. I'll have to try harder to trick him next year.

For the Taking

My boss called me into his office today and told me that he's leaving the team at the end of the month.

And (essentially), his job is mine for the taking.

I'm not sure I want it. Talking it over with him he repeated something that his boss said to me a month ago: I'm much closer to this promotion than the one I want.

My frustration comes in that, yes, they're right. Why are they right? Well, I spend 75% of my time not coding, which is what I want to do, what I love, what I went to school for, and what I want to do full time. That hasn't happened because I spend most of my time putting out other people's fires. I can't get my own work done because other people need me to do their job. Frankly, I'm already doing managerial work. That's why this promotion is closer.

The people I've talked to about this have suggested that I just take the money and run. It seems that's the common consensus. Honestly, I'm concerned that continuing to pass up on this promotion will be detrimental to my career at this company.

So, I suppose it's time to, as they say, fish or cut bait. Make this career move or make a bigger one in the way of company move. Maybe it really is time to dust off my resume.