No, No, No, Yes

I get asked a lot if I'm vegetarian. The answer is always the same, "No." Pretty simple answer, eh? I don't feel the need to tell people the whole long bit about how I don't eat much meat, but if I really want some, I'll go ahead and have some. I have, however, found that not eating dairy is simple, sorry, can't, I'm lactose intolerant. No questions asked, they are satisfied to know that by eating whatever they are about to eat will not be met with a superiority complex, just a girl who can't eat what they're offering.

yesterday afternoon I arrived in Texas for my roommate's wedding. Her best friend picked me up at the airport and took me to her home so we could grab a bite to eat before heading to the city where our friend is getting married. When we were at this girl's house they offered me Chicken Cordon Bleu. I politely turned them down. No thank you, I'll just have rice with soy sauce. Her mom offered to make me a ham sandwich, again, no thank you. This girl then asked the question we all know is coming, am I a vegetarian. Nope.

Later last night I was starving and was hanging out with my roommate (not the one getting married) who is a vegetarian. I had stepped out, and when I got back to the room she told me that the girl who picked me up from the airport had called and asked if my roommate thought that I would like a Chick-fillet. She said yes, but was thinking, 'salad. Get her a salad.' I groaned. I was so not in the mood for a nasty fast-food chicken sandwich.

We discussed this, I tried to call the girl back, but she didn't answer. Finally, my roommate and I decided that we would go try to find some dinner.

We found this Mexican place and decided to try it out. There honestly wasn't a single thing on the menu that didn't contain meat. When our waitress came by I asked if we could just take meat out of any dish. She asked, "Are all y'all vegetarians?" For the first time in my life I answered, "Yes." Whoa. What? She said for the most part yes, we could. When I finally decided on what to order my roommate placed her order, then the waitress asked, "Now, vegetarians, right, not vegan?" "No." Said my roommate. I, on the other hand, said yes. That would pretty much guarantee that I wouldn't get sour cream or cheese in my dinner. As I was ordering she said, "Now, the tortillas are fried in lard." Oh, that's fine, I told her. I guess I'm not a very strict vegan, eh?

As we were eating my roommate asked if I was ready to declare myself a vegetarian. Nope, I told her, I'm not. I still eat meat. Just not much.

Meeeeat

Wednesday for dinner we had two options: (1) Hotdog or (2) Hamburger. I was very hungry, so I got a hamburger. Strangely enough, it was delicious. I haven't had red meat in months, and enjoyed the hamburger so much I contemplated getting another one. I didn't.

When I made the decision to eat the hamburger, I knew I was going to catch grief from the guys. Sure enough. Carnavore sat down next to me and said simply, "They didn't have much choice, did they?"

OfficeNeighbor came up to me right after I finished the burger and asked if I had a hamburger, and I told him, "Well, I didn't eat a hotdog." Then as I was refilling my lemonade MyBoss called me over and said with the most ironic smirk on his face, "So, Granola, I heard you ate a hamburger." "Yes," I replied, "and it was delicious." OfficeNeighbor laughed and said, "If you were going to break your 'no meat' fast this certainly wasn't the hamburger to do it on. It was a terrible burger. Next time you feel like eating meat we'll go someplace good, like Fudruckers, or something." Thanks dudes.

I anticipate hearing about this for at least a week or two.

Peer Pressure

On Wednesday BigNameCompany paid for everyone to go Lagoon and have a blast. Everyone got to bring their family, or a guest. I opted for guest, since I have no immediate family here. I invited TheModel, but he couldn't make it, so I asked a female friend of mine. We went up in the morning to make an early day of it (she needed to be back for Institute at 7:30 pm). At dinner time we all congregated and the team managed to find each other and hang out for a bit.

After dinner MyBoss was looking at a ride called The Rocket. Basically, it shoots you up into the air 200 feet, and then you freefall back down. Sounds thrilling, eh? Anyway, he managed to convince a fair number of the guys to go with him, including: OfficeNeighbor and his wife (I think), TheKid (and maybe his wife), GoteeBoy and his wife, and GoteeBoy's brother -- Bouncer (he looks like it, no joke). I'm not positive on those figures, but pretty sure. Anyway, like you care all that much. So, they rode on the version of The Rocket called Re-Entry. Basically, that one carts you up to the top and drops you. Yeah, sounds even better to me, frankly. They tried to talk me into it, but I maintained that I absolutely would not go on it. As they were getting off I told my friend that if they had tried harder I probably would have succumbed to their peer pressure and gone. She laughed. They got off, and wanted to go do The Rocket. They tried to talk me into it. I said, no, no way. Then, Bouncer asked me if I had ever tried it. I told him no, so he asked how I knew it was so bad if I wasn't even willing to try it. I replied, "Well, I've never tried crack before, but I know it's not good for me!" A brilliant reply until I found myself less than a minute later standing in line for the ride. While we stood there waiting Bouncer gave me a hard time, "Today 'The Rocket', tomorrow Granola's doing crack!"

The ride wasn't all that great, I think that now that I know what to expect I could enjoy it if I went again. After that my friend wanted to try this ride called 'The Bat'. I'm not a big roller coaster rider, but I agreed. By the time we got to the front she had chickened out, so we got off and headed home.

I learned on Thursday that the guys had all hung out for a few more rides. I would have liked that a lot, but my friend needed to get home.

So, now we all know that when it comes to keeping up with the guys I'm 100% all about that. I think it comes from a need to prove that I'm just as whatever as they are.

The best part is, MyBoss suggested that we try sky diving for our next team building activity - I totally agreed! I'd love to try that. I think we may just go as friends sometime, take a weekend off and drive up to Calgary since it's so much cheaper up there than it is in Provo. My only concern would be that wives and family members came too, otherwise it's just not a good move for me to go and hang with the boys for a weekend like that.

Geek

Because I know you'll be shocked to learn about it, let me be the first to tell you: I'm a geek. I work with geeks, I'm friends with geeks, we sit around and revel in our geek-hood, we tell geeky stories, and even geekier jokes.

Before we get into today's post you might want to read this article. Given, however, that I can safely assume a few things namely: (1) Mom, you didn't RTFA, did you? (2) Those of you who started to read it chances are you zoned out straight away. So, let me sum up: we're talking about flashing the BIOS. Flashing one's BIOS restores factory settings in the cases where it doesn't update them. Clear? Good. Now, onto the post you've all been waiting for:

yesterday afternoon I was sitting in my office minding my own business when I hear OfficeNeighbor declare to TheKid and GoteeBoy, "No, Granola's totally into Unreal." I had to find out what they were talking about, so I walked over there and asked. "Oh," said TheKid, "I made a generalization about females, and OfficeNeighbor just proved I was wrong."

"Which was?"

"OfficeNeighbor said that video games need a female touch, and I said that most girls I know like to play the standard computer games that come with Windows, like tetris and minesweeper, not the other kind of computer games. And, I'm not sure how you can add a feminine touch to a fps (first person shooter). Do you like to play tetris, Granola?"

"Yeah, I like to play the standard windows games, I suppose."

"Oh. But you like to play Unreal, too? Right?" I'm seriously not making this up, this guy actually talks like that, University degree and all.

"Uh, yeah."

"Cool. Then you don't fit in with the standard Female definition."

At this point, it's safe to say the conversation took a turn for the worse. "Well," OfficeNeighbor said, "You need to update your definition of 'Female'." Spoken to TheKid, this would (obviously) mean that he needed to review his idea of what it means for one to be 'Female'. However, spoken to me, this would mean that like a computer program has definitions to update, I apparently do and I needed to update my 'Female' program. We chuckled about this briefly, then I made the crowning geek comment of the day, "Yeah, I guess I need to flash my BIOS."

We were all disgusted at me for making the comment, and each other for laughing at it. Oy vey!

Song

ExOfNote'sYoungerBrother has a band, as I've mentioned before. Periodically I like to check their Web site to see if they have any more songs, or concerts booked close enough for me to go to (I really do like their sound), etc. This week I discovered they had a new song, and quickly played it. I've had it stuck in my head for days. However, the more I listen to it the more I realize the song describes the antithesis of myself. It's almost as if he intentionally wrote it to be that way. It kind of breaks my heart a little bit. I mean, I don't think he would do that just to be spiteful, but it is entirely possible. I would as ExOfNote, except I'm trying hard to not call him, since he is my ex after all. Oh well, I suppose it doesn't matter, does it?

Honest

My roommate and I were talking Thursday night. She made a statement I wanted to verify, so I asked, "Really?" Her reply? "Honest Injun." All I could say was "uh..." as the knot in the pit of my stomach started to form. She quickly apologized, and said, "I guess you're the wrong person to say that to." (I'm 1/8th Indian, and a bit more in touch with it than most people would think a red-headed light-skinned girl would be.)

We had an interesting discussion on how many American Indians consider that word on par with the "N" word. She wasn't sure you bought that one. Well, dear, it's the truth. For me, it just makes me sick to my stomach. It was good to see her on the opposite side of the racial slur. See, the thing is, people don't realize that it is a slur, much like some people don't consider the "N" word to be a slur. It's all about exposure.

This reminds me of a professor I had my last semester of school. He is a great guy, and I like him a lot. However, during the course of the semester he told two jokes with the word "Injun" in the punch-line. The problem is, how do I (of all people) let him know that his comments were offensive. Even though who better to tell him? I think walking into his office, and sitting down and starting the conversation with, "So, I'm 1/8th Native..." wouldn't really be all that smooth. However, walking in as a pale-skinned red-head and not announcing that would be rather counter productive, as then I have no stakes in the comment.

Yeah, here's one I'd love to solve. As it were, if I could figure out a good way to approach that I still might consider dropping by his office and having a chat with him.

Bridesmaid

My roommate is getting married next weekend, and our other roommate is one of her bridesmaids. They asked me ages ago to make the dress. Sure, no problem. On Sunday I asked when I was going to hear more about this dress and (presumably) make it. They told me Monday or Tuesday that I would be making it, oh, and could I please have it done in time for them to take today when the left for the wedding (they're driving half-way across the country), or, I could finish it up and take it with me when I fly out next week, which is seriously difficult when you're fitting a dress to someone. Wednesday the engaged roommate shows up with the pattern, finally. I take our other roommate's measurements, and determine, that we need a different size pattern. So, Thursday the non-engaged roommate borrowed my car and got the appropriate size pattern. I didn't start working on it (because I had my cello lesson) until 9 or so. I finally finished it around 3, and was in bed and asleep by 3:30, only to get up at 7:30. As I was leaving this morning my roommate told me that the bride came home, saw the dress and said, "Oh! Is that what they look like?" Great! Glad I stayed up so late. So, now I'm exhausted, and they are going to make skirts this week and buy blouses, since the dresses really are heinous.

Tailgating

Today as I was driving from Provo to Orem on the freeway I was in the slow lane. As can be expected when one travels in the slow lane, a car needed to merge in front of me, since he was rapidly running out of lane. I applied my breaks, and glanced in my rear-view mirror in time to see that the silver SUV that had been tailgating me had to slam on his to avoid hitting me (that's what you get for tailgating, you ninny!). He decided that I was, apparently, a terrible driver and didn't want to be behind me anymore, thus he changed lanes and sped up. As he was over taking me he honked his horn, and when I glanced over I realized it was this guy I see in the cafeteria all the time. I also saw him forcefully flipping me the bird. What? Because you were tailgating? How is that my fault. In the end, I am more befuddled as to what was up with him... I mean, let's look at this logically: Had I not braked I would have hit the dude in front of me, causing our tailgating prick to rear-end me. Then he would have had something to get pissed about. And, whatever happened to using the horn in the appropriate fashion? Just because you have the ability to flip people off doesn't mean that it is the best method to convey your emotion. In the end, I'm convinced he opted for that because we live in Utah, and the bird is probably going to be more offensive to more people than the horn. Jerk. .

I kind of want to figure out who he is and leave a sticky-note on his office door reading, "Stop tailgating, Prick, and then maybe it'll reduce your risk of rear-ending someone." or, maybe just leave it at, "Stop tailgating, Prick." I think that'd do the trick. My sweet revenge came momentarily, however, for as I was getting off in Orem the traffic DJ announced that 5 minutes up the road 3 of the 5 lanes were blocked, and it was going to take commuters at least 40 minutes to go a normal 20 minute drive. Guaranteed he was stuck in that. Muahhahahahaaaa!!!

Ouch!

Sorry it's been a while. Work has been rather hectic, and since I no longer have a working computer/internet connection at home, I haven't been able to write. Oh Saturday we went river rafting as a congregation down in Moab, on the Colorado river. It was fun. The last river trip I went on we hit mostly class 2 and 3 (one 4) rapids. On this trip we hit ones and twos, only. So, while it was fun, it certainly wasn't the best (as far as rapids go) trip. It was, however, very enjoyable, and lazy.

Right before our lunch stop we hit the biggest rapid we'd go through all day. However, we missed the rapid, and ended up in the rocks - where by "rocks" I mean boulders approximately 1 yard in diameter, and a whole bunch of 'em. In order to get out of the rocks we had to get out of the raft and maneuver. I jumped out and onto a rock, I was soon joined by 6 or so other girls. After we had freed the raft sufficiently, we had to get back in. No one was too keen on doing that first, so I went. I had to go from one rock to another then another, and then finally to the boat. I slipped on the second rock, and went crashing down. I hit my toe really hard on a rock, and it hurt a whole lot. After that we maneuvered the raft a bit to get everyone else in more easily. Once we were all in the raft our guide exclaimed with relief, "Well, I'm glad no one got hurt!" "Then," I replied, "I suppose I shouldn't tell you that I broke my toes." No one really believed me, but I was positive I had broken at least one. When we stopped for lunch I asked her to tape up my toe, and went on my way.

For the ride home the Bishop's wife had me sit in the middle of the middle seat of her Expedition, with my foot resting on the arm rest/cup holder thing, and a bag of ice tied to it. Most people just thought I had hurt it pretty badly. My bishop really wanted me to go to the doctor for it, and since I pay through the nose for insurance I figured I might as well. I went to the E.R., since we got back 20 minutes too late for urgent care. They took a few x-rays of my foot and confirmed what I had thought all along - one broken toe coming right up! Then, they did precisely what I anticipated -- they taped my middle toe to my second toe, gave me an ultra-sexy blue boot, and sent me on my way.

The upside of the visit was, when the hot guy who had been riding shot-gun on the trip home saw me on Sunday, he asked how my toe was. "Broken." I replied. "Really broken? Did you go to the doctor?" "Yup, and that was what they told me." I guess I got some sympathy out of it, but more importantly, I proved that I wasn't over reacting over the whole bit. Thank you!

Oh, and with a 4-6 week recovery period, Lagoon is going to be hard. But, I'm willing to struggle through it. Now, all I need is to find someone to take with me.

A Post Script on the Glasses Post

Thursday, after I got my new glasses, I was sitting in my 10 o'clock meeting when MyBoss turned to me and instead of asking about my work he asked, "Did you get new glasses?"

"Yup."

"They look good. You look more sophisticated."

Who ever said men weren't observant? Thankfully, however, this morning's meeting didn't include a question about the new bra I bought last night. I'm not sure how I would have responded to that. Let's all pretend that no one noticed. For the record, the twins feel huge. My roommates think they actually look smaller. I'm not sure I believe them. All I know is, I have massive amounts of cleavage and try as I might, I can't keep it all hidden.

Glasses

I've worn "corrective lenses" since 7th grade. Since that time I have had a cyclical love/hate relationship with them. When I got my first pair of glasses I was so thankful to be able to see that you could have put the most un-glamorous glasses on my face that I probably would have worn them without complaint. When I got my first pair it was early 90's. Which means, as I'm sure you guessed, that they were huge and hideous! I was told by the woman behind the counter that large-rounded frames were best for my face, and by the time I left high school I was still convinced of that fact. Never-mind that I have high cheekbones which hit the bottom rim of my glasses when ever I smiled.

After I left home for University I decided that I had managed to earn enough money to afford contacts. I was saved! How blissful that discovery was. I bought my first pair and swore I would never go back. Two years later, however, my insurance wasn't going to cover them, and the cost was about $200 per eye, if I got the ones that corrected for my astigmatisms. Thus, I had to get the cheaper version. This turned out to be a horrible mistake, and I seldom wear those contacts, as they are still blurry, and why wear anything if they only slightly improve your vision. Sometimes, however, one wants to see, but doesn't want to wear glasses. It is one these occasions that the contacts go in. Seldom, but they do exist.

I also got glasses, just in case. By this time I decided that the woman seven years prior had not only lied to me, but was smoking something when she sold me the frames -- large-round frames were not only the exactly wrong frame for me, but they were painfully un-cool. Inspired by my roommate I decided to get oval/rectangular black frames reminiscent of the alternative look. I loved them! They were perfect! Turns out, that short-wide frames are not only a better more "now" look, the also happen to fit my face without hitting my cheekbones. Since then I have had two new pairs of glasses, and just got a third pair yesterday.

The first replacement pair of glasses were sun glasses. I love prescription sun glasses, and was excited for these. Generally, I was of the opinion that sun glasses should be black, but the frames I fell in love with were brown (they were also more rectangular than oval), thus necessitating brown lenses. That was a difficult switch for me, but in the end, it was a good move. Plus, the brown looks better on me, given my complexion and hair color.

The second replacement pair happened immediately after my glasses were hit by a car. No, I was not in them at the time, which sounds ridiculous, but here's what happened: I had switched from my glasses to my sun glasses, and put my glasses in my coat pocket. They apparently fell out whilst I was walking across a parking lot, and after I discovered their loss and finally found them again they were horribly mangled. The new glasses were similar in style and shape, only slightly more rectangular.

I wore those glasses for a few years, and was generally happy with them with a few exceptions, the lenses had gotten scratched over time, and the paint on the top rim in the center of each eye piece had worn down and was shiny metal, as was the middle of the nose piece. The paint was only moderately annoying, and I could have continued to live with it, but since I finally have vision insurance again (and I'm paying through the nose for it) I thought I had better get me a new pair.

I made an appointment with a new doctor and went in two weeks ago. I picked out a pair of glasses in a similar vein as my old frames, but these are a goldish brown (almost coppery) and even more boxy than before. (actually, you can see a picture of them here.) Cute, eh? Also, my insurance covers contacts, so I thought I'd try them again. My contacts have been driving me bonkers for the last two weeks. First the prescription in one eye was so far off I had to call the doctor's office and get my appointment moved up so that I could change them for something slightly more usable. This last week, however, the prescription was still off, and last night when I went in for my check-up the doctor decided to try a different approach with my contacts. He has to specially order the contacts, so hopefully that will go well.

Thankfully, however, I finally got my new glasses last night. I love them!

For the past two weeks I have been wearing contacts, and when I was finally able to plop these on my nose I was quite relieved. I have decided that I like me with glasses. It's not that I feel exposed or "naked" with out glasses, I just like them better.

That being said, I just got a package from my insurance company telling me about Lasik, etc. Funny. Knowing that I am a candidate for Lasik has made me think, a lot. It would be nice to not have to squint at the alarm clock, etc, but I really do like me in glasses. I could always have the surgery, and then wear plain glass in the lenses. Nahh. That'd be a little too much, even for me.

Funeral Expenses

On Saturday my roommate and I were driving home from her work when we saw Korea walking down the street. I immediately pulled over and asked her how things were going, and if she was doing ok. She said she was pretty much still in shock, but considering that things were going ok. Not wonderful, but ok. I asked her what her plans were for the funeral, etc. She told me that she had decided to have him cremated (thankfully!) because of the cost of not doing so. Also, since she's the one making all the decisions, and since he's being cremated, she is going to put off the memorial service until she can afford to fly home and take care of it. I asked how the money situation was, and what I could do to help. She told me that she had managed to raise all but $500 for it, and that last bit seems to be a whole lot hard to get her hands on. She has been calling aunts and uncles who never knew him to ask for money, but they seem to be having a hard time being willing to contribute, as you can well imagine. Thankfully, however, the mortician was able to give her a little-known discount apparently entitled "I'm a poor university student whose father has just passed away, and as the only living relative I have to cover all the expenses." We kind of laughed about that, but it was a laugh of thankfulness and relief more than mirth.

After we left her my roommate and I started to ponder how we can help Korea. My roommate suggested we have a benefit concert for her. (You may recall that she's really into the indi-rock scene, so she has some connections.) She was going to look into that, but I don't think she has. I wish there were something more I could do. When we asked what that might be, Korea replied as I would expect, "Prayers are good. Just pray for me."

I am, but is it enough?

Why You Should Make Your Own Funeral Arrangements

I was talking with a friend from church this week when she mentioned a mutual friend of ours, Korea. Korea and the girl with whom I was speaking happen to be roommates, so I asked "Oh, how's she doing?"

Not good, apparently. Her father died this week, and it's been really hard on her. Worse than that, however is the ramifications of it. She is his only living relative that claims him (and, she's not even sure if he's her father — she has to have some blood work done to determine if that's the case or not), so she has to cover all the funeral expenses. He had a cemetery plot, which helps a bit, but she has to pay for the casket, the tombstone and engraving, and transporting his body. Not an easy feat considering that she's a paycheck-to-paycheck barely making it college student.

My roommate happens to be in the Relief Society presidency, so I told her when I found out, hoping that she will be able to do something. I really don't know what we can do, but I hope the ward can pull together and help her out.

I think I'm going to call her tonight and see what little help I can be.

It Continues

Half an hour after I wrote the previous post the guys were helping me install Unreal on my box. TheKid was driving (I'm still not sure why), and when it asked for a name he typed "Princess." This place is ripe for a sexual harassment suit. Fortunately, I find it just as entertaining as the guys do. We'll see what MyBoss has to say if we have a "Team Building Exercise" (the team code name for a hour or so of Unreal Tournament) this afternoon. He hasn't been joining us as of late, but it just may happen.

Better Than 'Pig'

I was having trouble installing an Operating System (like Windows, Mom, except BigNameCompany owns this particular flavor of Linux) on one of my work computers, so I asked OfficeNeighbor to take a look at it and see if he could figure out what was wrong with it. Fortunately for my ego, he had problems too. Finally with the help of TheKid (formerly known as "another guy for whom I need to think up a name") they were able to get it to install. What a relief! They called me over and informed me, "Dude, you have access now!" I thanked them, then looked over at the machine as OfficeNeighbor prepared to log in. The welcome screen greeted me, "Welcome to princess". What The? Nice guys. Thanks a lot. Apparently they were trying to think up a good name, and instead of asking me what name I'd like to give my machine (I happen to have a naming scheme in place) they picked one. One of the suggested names was "kitten." Finally, they settled on "princess." Frankly, it's better than kitten. I could rename the machine, but it would take some effort. Anyway, "princess" is funny, and maybe it'll remind them to be nice to me.

Not blinking likely.

T.J. Maxx and Why It's Great

I am in love with T.J. Maxx. There is always plenty of new and exciting things to be found there. I even have a motto for shopping there, "Everything at T.J. Maxx has multiple purposes." Case in point, I have two very cute handbags that I got there. They were originally jewelry boxes. I think the thing I love about it is the fact that every T.J. Maxx is different, and it's like a rummage sale, except the things you buy are brand name, brand new, and not at the prices you'd expect to pay. Who could not love that? When I was with the fam. Mumsy commented that she liked the handbag I brought. When she discovered where I got it we went on an expedition. She discovered what I knew all along, T.J. Maxx is amazing!

We bought her a very cute jewelry box/purse that I wanted. So, when I got home I went to my local store to buy it. No go. Tragic, really. While I was there I headed over to the houseware section (I frequently forget they sell clothes) to browse. There I saw the most amazing vase (that's vaaaaahhhhhze, in case you thought otherwise). It looked very familiar. Then, last night when I was over at TheModel's house for firecrackers (I'm trying, really, I am) I noticed that they had the same vase, hence the familiar nature. I asked him if it were his (sure that it was, knowing the other guys who live there). Yes, he informed me, and when he moves out of that house I can have it. Ok, so the fact that we like the same vase isn't all that impressive, but the fact that he also likes T.J. Maxx (you don't shop there if you are ambivalent about it, trust me) just made him even hotter, if that's at all possible.

Oh, I might as well include in this post the following:
Last night when I got home from the gym the boys across the street (TheModel's house-mates) were lighting firecrackers. I invited myself over (which is why I was over there to notice the vase). It was great fun! While I was there I noticed TheModel had a female friend over. She was very cute, and I could see why he might be interested in her. In fact, they spent the entire evening with each other. Just as we were finishing up they disappeared into his house. Well, I did want to say hi to him, guess I wouldn't. A friend had something in their house, so she went inside to retrieve it. I asked if she needed help (yeah, right). She said yes, and in I went (determined to find out who the mystery chick was). I walked into the kitchen and was about to leave when I called out in the direction of his bedroom, "Good night, TheModel!" "Good night." He replied, "Hey, is that Granola?" "Sure is." "Come back here. Have you met my sister?" Yes!!!! Thank goodness for the sake of my developing crush, eh? By the way, she's really cute, and very nice. More importantly, however, she's his sister.

Now do you see why I could develop a real-life crush on him? Probably not. If, however, I had a picture of him, you could.

Predictable

Well, I never thought I would be so blatantly predictable, but it seems Laziest Girl has my number. At her bidding I give you:

The 3's Meme (I'll get you my pretty! Muaahahahahahaaaaa!!!!)

Three Nicknames
* Girly-baby (Where "Girly" is my real last name. Tragically, my roommate's fiancee is pretty much the only person that calls me that. What the??)
* Gun Fodder (but only in Unreal Games)
* gGirl (ok, so it's really the first initial of my real first name, and my real last name.)

Three Things I Like About Myself
* My intellect
* My inability to spell
* My sense of humor

Three Things That Scare Me
* Self-imperfection and the drive to fix something I can't
* Never loving again like I've loved before
* Falling in love

Three Things I'm Wearing Right Now
Um, I'm nakked. Wait... let's see here
* Glasses
* Hair band
* ok, I lied, I'm also wearing jeans

Three Fave Bands Growing Up
* John Michael Montgomery
* Tiffany (all together now, "I think we're alone now...")
* Paula Abdul

2 Truths and a Lie
* My father is a clown. Seriously, the man wears make-up and a red nose in public
* My mother has two PhD's. One in family counseling and the other in environmental studies
* My siblings think I'm a snob because I "got out"

Three Things I Can't Do Without
* Glasses - blind as a bat
* Internet for more than 24 hours (it's the freaking Fourth of July and I'm at the office because I needed a fix)
* Spell Check

Three Things I Can Certainly Live Without
* Stupid people
* Utah drivers
* Utah pedestrians
Though, technically, the last two fall under the first category

Three Places I Want to Go On Vacation
* Jerusalem - this September, baby!
* Australia - that's not just for you, Laziest, I have wanted to go as long as I can remember
* India

Three Things I Want to Do Before I Die
* See the Taj Mahal
* Learn Hebrew
* Learn to read ancient Greek

Your turn, Mumsy.

Real Life Crush?

I've been thinking, and over analyzing things which, as a girl, is my prerogative. I've decided that TheModel could move on from being a Secret Boyfriend to being an actual real-life crush. This is a problem. I don't like to have real-life crushes on boys that are out of my league. So, now I have a serious predicament. I know he likes me as a person, heck, all of the guys in that house like me as a person. How could they not? I freaking rock! However, having a crush on him can be highly detrimental to my mental and emotional health. I suppose it's better than falling for someone I don't know. Or, is it?

Drivers Turrets

My roommate and I were running errands for her on Saturday. Since her fiancee took her SUV to Arizona for the weekend and left his little compact, we were using my van to haul stuff from his apartment to their married house (remember that one time that I was nice? This is time number two). As it was my van we were driving I was doing the driving. Turns out I talk to people when I drive. Sometimes I say nice things. Sometimes the things I say are less than nice. My roommate has decided that I have "Driver's Turrets". Well, we've identified the problem. Now she wants to fix it. Tragically, I don't think it's that much of an issue for me.

Index

You may have noticed off to the right side of the page that I have started an index. I read once that one should never write their own index (Cat's Cradle, Kurt Vonnegut, as if that's a reliable source), however, I'm tired of linking back to previous posts when I reference someone.

This is very much a work in progress. First I have to create all the stupid pages, then I have to update my template, and then I have to maintain them. In addition to that, I think I'm going to go back and update the links to point to the index. Hopefully that'll make things easier. Not that anyone looks at the historical stuff, anyway. I suppose this is a vain hope that when someone stumbles across my blog they like what they see so much that they read the archives.

So, if you like the index, feel free to use it. If I'm missing someone/something that has been spoken of more than once and you'd like to see them/it in the index let me know and (if I agree with you - hey, it's my blog) I'll see about including them/it.

Oh, lastly, my goal is to create one or two index pages every time I post, so don't expect them to all appear one day. Slowly but surely wins the race.

Oink

Mumsy has decided to give her kids blog-names. This is an activity I wholly support (obviously), and one she picked up from me (everyone has to have a role model). For the most part I completely agree with the names she have given everyone. That is to say, mine is the only name I disagree with. It may be that there is something about being called a pig that lacks appeal. However, I think it may have more to do with the source than the actual name. She picked it from Animal Farm. You know, everyone is equal, some are more equal than others. I certainly don't feel that way about myself, I wonder why she gets that impression. Personally, I think that book had a heavy influence on why she has assigned each of us an animal.

In related news, she asked what animal we would chose to describe her. I feel a sibling project coming on.

In related-related news, she said that picking my animal name was harder than any of my siblings. That's a relief, or is it? Herm... I'm betting if I can come up with a better animal for myself she'll change it. Well, it's not like I had anything better to do this weekend.

What They Don't Tell You in School

Let's take a look at my day. I know you're excited:

8:45 - wake up
8:45-8:50 - run around frantically getting ready.
8:50-9:30 - run across the street to bum a ride from the guys, they don't answer, so I have to haul butt to the bus stop, wait for the bus, get on the buss, get off the bus, walk to the office.
9:30 - sneak past MyBoss so he doesn't notice my late arrival
9:35-9:50 - shoot the breeze with GoteeBoy, OfficeNeighbor, and MyBoss
9:50-10:00 - watch the boys shoot hoops in the lab in preparation for our 10 at 10
10:00-10:30 - participate in the 10 at 10 for 20 minutes
10:30-12:00 - work (you'll notice this is the first time this word has been mentioned)
12:00-12:30 - put a new battery in my car
12:30-1:30 - lunch at the mall, where MyBoss announces he is planning on telling us to go home at 3.
1:30-2:30 - work
2:30 - in anticipation of getting off at 3 the guys decide to play a game of Unreal Tournament.
2:45-3:30- try to get Unreal installed on a different machine, since I hosed mine on Wednesday. Spend the vast majority of that time being annoyed that it isn't going faster.
3:30 - MyBoss pokes his head in my office: "Go home." He orders. "And, have a good weekend." "Thanks, I'll see you Tuesday."

To recap, that gives us a total of 2 1/2 hours of actual work today. Dang, I love my job!

A Bite and Battery

Remember how my van isn't working? Yeah, it sucks. Carnivore just happens to have the same kind of van, except his is missing a transmission where as mine has a dead battery. On Wednesday, when I was griping about it to him (I figured he would know what the problem was) he told me he had an extra battery just sitting in his van, and if I wanted he would bring it down to work for me.

At our 10 am meeting (we have a 10 at 10 every morning) he announced, "Well, Granola, I figured out why your van died."

"Really? Why?"

"Well, I drove my truck here this morning, for the first time in a week, because of that battery. Good thing too. As I was getting off the freeway I saw a big ol' van stalled off to the side of the road. Because I had my truck and the tow bar I was able to pull them off. It was full of handicapped adults."

"So, what you're saying is you guys are the handicapped adults? That's it. No more rides in Granola's van!"

At noon Carnivore came over to my office and said, "Let's go put that battery in your car." Sweet. Not only did he bring it for me, he took me to my house and put it in my car for me on his lunch break.

When it was properly installed we got in our respective vehicles and prepared to head out. I asked him where he was headed, he said he was going to call the guys and find out where they were going. At about 12:30 we determined we were going to the mall (translation: no one could make a choice, so that was the default). We spent an hour at the mall before heading back to the office, so he got his full lunch break anyway.

Alarming Failure

I woke up this morning rather suddenly as someone banged upon something (presumably, that something was my front door). I glanced at the clock, annoyed until I discovered that it was 8:45am. I guess I had forgotten to set my alarm last night! I jumped out of bed, brushed my teeth and hair. Skipped the usual shower, applied deodorant, a few spritzes of perfume, threw on some clothes, put on some makeup, and was out the door running to the bus stop in 5 minutes. Not too shabby, all things considered.

When I got to work (at 9:30, only an hour and a half late) I headed down the hall to my office. MyBoss and GoteeBoy were standing in the middle of an intersecting hallway with their backs to me. I slid by them, hoping to go unnoticed. A few minutes later I decided I needed some herbal tea, so I grabbed my mug and headed to the break room. MyBoss and GoteeBoy were headed back from getting hot chocolate, so we exchanged greetings.

Then, MyBoss said, "Oh, hey, Granola, I saw you this morning walking from your bus stop. I was going to stop and pick you up, but I had my mother-in-law in the car, and I was on the other side of the street."

"You saw me at the bus stop? This morning?"

"Yeah, just a few minutes ago."

"Well," I said with a smile and inner relief, "I'm glad I wasn't the only one running a little late this morning!"

"Yeah, it's not a big deal."

If you're going to get caught, I suppose the best situation is to have your boss do the catching, whilst in the same predicament. To think, I actually contemplated calling him and letting him know that I was going to be a bit late.