That's a Wrap!

Well, I've officially managed to make it through The Weekend of Hell! YES!!!

My dev who was working tonight sent an update to the team that things were wrapped and included a special thanks to me for doing this all weekend. He cc'ed the director (my boss' boss) on that email. Thanks, man. I appreciate it.

I also got an email from another director (not mine, but someone I do want to impress) thanking me for my efforts. He also told me to keep this in mind for my review.

That's the second important person who mentioned that to me. I don't know how to put that on a review, but I'm going to figure out how, because they both seem to think it's a good idea.

And, on that note: (big sigh) good night!

That One Threshold

Bill and I were out at dinner when I ran out of water.

Now, for some people this might be a minor inconvenience. For me, this was very much not the case. I drink water like, well, like a person who drinks water to excess. I don't know what it is, but I drink constantly. (I once had a doctor tell me not to drink less, but that I'm probably getting enough.)

Back at dinner, the server was nowhere to be seen, and I was starting to really want more water. I complained a few times, then Bill offered up his cup.

This is an interesting place to be. Do I say thanks but no? I mean, we're pretty close. Drinking after him isn't a repulsive notion. But, if I take it is he the kind of person who considers that a forfeit and won't have any more to drink? I didn't want to take his water.

I turned him down.

5 minutes later I took his cup. I needed that water.

A few minutes later he drank from his cup. Ok, well, we've crossed that threshold, I thought.

Friday night we were, once again, out for dinner. Amazingly, I ran out of water. This time I just reached across the table and helped myself. "Hey!" he protested in jest, "that's my water!" "Yup. Thanks!" I said with a smile as I took a sip.

Today at lunch I ordered a salad. It was delicious. I offered him a bite, but he didn't have a fork (flatware accompanied the meals as necessary. There's no need for a fork when you're eating a sandwich). I thought about this for a second, then offered him my fork. Yet another threshold crossed.

At dinner tonight I stole a bite of his mashed potatoes and he, once again, borrowed my fork to try some of my dinner (this time out of convenience rather than lack of flatware).

Well, we've officially crossed those boundaries. What that means, I dunno. But, they're crossed.

Dating

Over dinner Bill announced, "So, I really like going out to nice restaurants like this. And, I've determined that most girls kind of freak out when you take them to places like this on a first date."

"This is true," I replied thinking of how I would react if a guy unblinkingly spent $100 on dinner for the two of us.

"So," he continued, "since I'm not really dating anyone right now, I want to take you to Ruth's Chris." Um, sorry? Come again? You want to take a vegan to a steak house? Naturally. These were words I could not say, since we were current at a steak house.

"Um, ok," I said, much to his surprise.

"You're ok with this?"

"Yup. As long as it's on you," I said with a smile.

"Of course. Cool!"

Anyone else catch the "not really dating anyone right now"? Um, and I a 'not really dating'? I don't even know what that means! I guess that means that we're sort of dating? I don't even know what that means!

Oh, and after dinner his buddy called to ask him to go out. Before accepting he asked, "Do we have any plans after this?" I assured him that, no, I get to work, so he should go out and have fun. And, that he is—I hope.

Coupon

I got a coupon at work a few weeks ago for a free Prime Top Sirloin or $40 off a full-priced meal at a pretty nice restaurant. When I picked it up, I knew who I was taking to dinner.

Last night when we were out at dinner I mentioned it (for the first time) to Bill. "We should go there," I told him. "You'd spend that on me?!" he ask, for some reason surprised. "Yup. Of course!"

We decided to go tonight.

I tried to make reservations this afternoon, but they were full, so we opted to show up and find a seat in the bar.

Upon discovering that I had never had a Shirley Temple, Bill decided that that is exactly what we were both going to have. As he ordered for us he announced to the server, "Can you believe that at her age she's never had a Shirley Temple before? We're going to fix that tonight!" I laughed, a bit embarrassed and jokingly told the waiter that "it's my 21st birthday!" He wished me happy birthday and I laughed as I thanked him for the well wishes.

For the record: I could have gone my whole life without a Shirley Temple and not have missed anything.

For dinner Bill ordered the anticipated stake (med rare) and I had the Grilled Portobello Mignon. Both meals were delicious. I had so much food I ate only half, and brought the rest home for tomorrow. Bill made an excellent suggestion: chop it all up and make scrambled tofu for breakfast. (Ok, so he suggested, "If you weren't vegan, make scrambled eggs.") I'm looking forward to that already.

After we finished our meal I pulled out the coupon and my credit card. As we sat there waiting for the server to return with our check we were both surprised when he, instead, returned with a plate containing mango sorbet in a caramel dish and two spoons. "A little something from me," he said as he set the plate on the table with a flourish. I spied the candle at the exact moment that he said, "Happy birthday!" Whoops! He told us that usually he knows just what to get, but tonight he had to think about it, since we had ordered my meal with no dairy. I thanked him profusely, made a wish (hey, why not?) and blew out my candle.

I was a bit confused how the confusion had happened, then Bill reminded me that I had told the server in the very beginning of the evening that it was my birthday. And, indeed, I had!

We laughed about it, and enjoyed our sorbet. We were still laughing when I said, "He's going to be scandalized when I pay the bill!" Bill offered to pick this one up, but I assured him that, no, it was my turn.

The server brought our check and noticing my card, placed the billfold next to me. I paid and left a tip on the total pre-coupon (hey, I may be tacky enough to use a coupon at a nice restaurant, but I'm not cheap enough to stiff the server!). Since everything was perfect, the service was great, and I got a nice little dessert out of it I was sure to leave a healthy tip.

Thank goodness for the coupon, because, seriously, without it that would have be a $90 dinner!

Oh, and we used the valet service. How fun! The dude opened the door for me and everything. Though, I suck at having my door opened, and went around the front of the car. Whoops!

Relaxing Day at Work?

The work day started again this morning at 9 am.

Bill and I had made plans last night to go buy me a new phone this morning between work.

At 9:30 I was finished with work until (I anticipated) noon or so. He picked me up around 10 and off we went. Ironically, I ended up not buying a phone, and he ended up buying one. My reasoning? I'm eligible for an upgraded phone in 4 days. Yes, four. I can wait a week, thankyouverymuch.

After phone buying we decided to grab some brunch before heading back to my place. Well, brunch turned into "let's go back to the mall and wander around." We did that, then (amazed that I had yet to be paged), we headed back to my place. We decided that it would be fun to walk on the beach, since today was a beautiful day. When we got to my house I checked to see how things were going and if I needed to work. Tragic perfect timing, I did. So, I spent a half an hour working, while Bill fixed my computer (I could have done it, but he was here and needed something to do).

We headed out to the beach, but the Mercer Island beach kind of blows. So, as we were discovering this, he said to me, "I have a great idea! Let's go back to your place, you pick up your laptop and a book, then head to my place, we'll pick up my laptop, and then we'll go to a coffee shop and I can play with my new phone and you can read."

Excellent plan.

We did just that. We spent a few hours at the coffee shop, then I had to work again.

After I finished up my work duties we headed out to dinner. Post dinner he dropped me off (it's going to be a long night) and headed out for drinks with a buddy.

All in all, despite having to work frequently throughout the day, it was a pretty good day.

Hot Date

After two days of heightened stress I told Bill Friday afternoon that "we need to do something fun tonight." I didn't, however, tell him that it couldn't go too late, because I was going to have to work. I saved that gem for right as we were getting off. Mostly because when we decided to go out, I hadn't agreed to work the whole weekend yet. After I "volunteered" for Latrine Duty I sent an email to the team letting them know I'd be doing this, and asking for some information for each of them. I indicated that their input would help my Friday night, and hot date, to not suck so much. I got a few replies that said, "If you have a date someone else should do it." Yeah, but, frankly, I don't trust the someone else who would be doing it.

After work, we headed to Bill's apartment to drop off our backpacks before heading out to dinner. When we got there I turned to him and said, "I could use that hug now." He was really cute about it, too. He kind of rocked me back and forth a little bit and muttered comforting words of sympathy. Thanks. It really did help.

We went out to dinner and then back to his place for a few minutes. Since I had been working since 6:45 Friday morning (after logging off at 11 Thursday night) I lied down on the couch for a few minutes while he used the washroom. And promptly nearly fell asleep. We were going to go back out (since the night was young), but I felt I should check the status of "The Weekend from Hell." Turns out that was a good idea. We stayed in an watched a movie, then he drove me home. I got home, changed into my jammies, brushed my teeth, and was logged back online just in time for the fun to begin again.

When he dropped me off Bill offered, "If you need anything tomorrow, food, comfort, anything, just let me know, ok?" We're going to go out in this morning for a couple of hours between rolling waves of hell.

Some hot date, eh?

Long Weekend

Thursday's work day has extended to this weekend. I'm not sure if you noticed, but this is supposed to be a three-day weekend. Theoretically things were supposed to happen during the day Friday extending into the evening. Then things moved around to Friday during the day, Friday night, and into Saturday morning.

It is now Saturday morning. Things have slipped to include all day today, and into the evening.

Friday afternoon LaBoca (who is on call this weekend, and has been trying desperately to get out of it—give me a break, it's a holiday weekend) called me and asked if my team is involved in this nightmare I shall henceforth refer to as "The Weekend from Hell." I replied that yes, we were, but with limited impact. She went on to ask me if I would monitor everything for our entire arm of the company across the board. I agreed, though I'm not really sure why. Well, I am sure why, for some reason my brain said "for the area that you're concerned with." She also looped in her little lackey to 'help'. Luckily for me, said lackey is actually equally incompetent, though causes considerably less damage as she whines so loudly people eventually do her job for her. More on this later. I'm not sure how she's supposed to "help". And, with things moving into today, she has declared that she'll be out of town, so it's all me. Thanks, so glad you guys bothered to get her involved.

As things were quickly moving into the weekend someone of great import declared over a conference call (in which my boss was present), "If people from such-and-such a team end up working over the weekend, go ahead and give them Tuesday off." As of our conversation an hour following that call, I do not have Tuesday off.

In giving a summary to the developers I mentioned that this might be going into Sunday, and golly wasn't that fun, oh, and I get to be at work on Tuesday! Yay! Clearly I had hit that point of frustration and, well, borderline tears. The dev manager with whom I work very closely came out of his office for an update. My kind dev said to him, "As it stands now, things are going into Sunday, and Granola's manager hasn't indicated that she can take Tuesday off. Is there any reason (aside from the one issue which she has to deal with every week) that we absolutely need Granola here on Tuesday?" As he paused to mull this over the developer helped him along by saying, "There's a correct answer to this one."

Brilliantly, his manager reached the correct decision and said, "No, there isn't. If you're not here at your desk on Tuesday I will certainly understand. And, if anyone asks I'll tell them you're working from home." Someone else offered to answer my phone. Since she sounds nothing like me I jokingly said, "Hello, Granola's phone. No, I'm sorry, she's in the washroom. ... later ... No, she's still in the washroom. Yeah, I dunno what's going on either." As we were having this discussion I suddenly realized, thanks to LaBoca's lackey's whining (I mentioned that she whines when she doesn't want to work, right?) I am on call starting Monday. So, I get to be in the office on Tuesday no matter what. Excellent.

The dev manager amended his offer of a comp day to be any time where I'm able to get away. I'm considering taking next Friday. But, then again, if Bill and I actually decide to go up to Canadia to see the Aurora Borealis, I might just take one of those days as comp. On the other hand, that's two weeks away, and I kind of would like the recovery time a bit earlier. Who knows.

Oh, have I mentioned that the dev manager isn't actually my boss, and doesn't really have much of a say in what I do? But, we work together far more closely than my real manager and I do. So, yeah, that's nice.

Indecent Proposal

It's currently 9:30. At night. I'm still working.

Correction, I am waiting for something to happen so I can hopefully work.

Today, as you can assume, has been a long day.

It all started with an email which lead to an hour long conference call. Which lead to lots and lots and lots of stress and tension in our bull pen (the area of cubes where my developers and I sit).

Around 4:00 the stress level had risen so much it was actually palpable. Our most grounded dev was the source of the majority of the tension, amazingly enough. I needed to escape, to get up, walk around, talk with someone who wasn't currently trying desperately to put out three fires, and just destress briefly.

I invited Bill to the kitchen.

When he got there I gave him a brief synopsis of what had happened, and how the stress level was simmering to a slow boil. He apologized, then in all earnestness asked, "Do you need a hug?"

"YES!!" I said with a mixture of relief and demand. Then wrapping my arms around his waist I let my head sink to his chest and could physically feel the stress seeping from me.

Or, that's what would have happened if I weren't paranoid of someone walking into the kitchen and, upon seeing us in a very comfortable embrace, assuming things were as they seemed. So, the responsible side of me said, "No, thanks. I just needed to get away."

But, it did help.

And I really did want that hug.

More importantly, what's he doing offering me hugs at the office?

Toxic Yellow

I made a mac and "cheeze" a few nights ago. It called for a lot of nutritional yeast. A lot. I added all of it. First off, it was amazingly too cheesey. Secondly, it turned me pee toxic yellow! At first I was shocked and a little concerned, then I remembered what the probable cause was. A second test assured me that, sure enough, nutritional yeast = ultra yellow urine!

Yes, kids, try this at home!

Attitude Problem

I had a meeting with my boss on Tuesday. After waiting nearly 10 minutes I left. He ran into me at the elevators, so we went back and had our meeting.

We talked a lot about the work I'm doing with my development team. Then, with 3 minutes left, he asked if I had anything.

"Yeah," I said, not sure how to really broach this one, "I think it may be a longer discussion than three minutes. But, I wanted to talk about my 'attitude problem.' First off, that really blindsided me!"

Before I could continue he said, "Well, I wouldn't really call it an 'attitude problem'." He then went on to tell me exactly what I already knew: he was going on feedback from team members. But, he reassured me, he hasn't seen anything, if he does, however, he'll be sure to let me know. He concluded that it's just personality conflicts between members of the team, and people need to learn to leave those conflicts at the door and get their jobs done.

Honestly, super reassuring that he no longer thinks I'm the "bad apple".

Whew.

Did I Mention

The neighbors actually have two dogs. Cocker spaniels. Dumb dogs. And, that doesn't endear them to me more.

At least it does explain some of the noise.

Another Non-Boyfriend?

GayPat had an interview with The Evil Empire today. I have no idea how it went, but he asked me to pray for him that it would go well. If it does, he may move out here.

Great, just what I need—another boy who wants to be BFF, and not actually date me.

I would say that I did that for 4 months with him already, but we actually dated. Lovely. Just lovely.

5k Walk

Cyclist asked if I want to do a 5K walk with him. For what cause I'm not sure, but, why not? So I said yes.

Then he announced that we can ride our bikes up to the start of the walk. I'm not sure how easy that is going to be, but I agreed to that as well. Who knew that I would become such an avid cyclist so quickly? Weird!

Y'all's Plans

Cyclist asked me this afternoon, "What are y'all's plans for the weekend?"

"I don't have any, really," I replied. Ignoring the plural in that question.

My coworkers have long been giving me grief about my "relationship" with Bill. They claim we're dating, and refuse to listen to my protests of no, we're not. It doesn't help that I do say 'we' when talking about things we do, did, and are planning on doing. And, we all assume that 'we' means Me n' Bill.

To make things worse, Cyclist later asked, "Do you guys want to come over and jam on Monday?"

"Yeah, I should be up for it. I'll ask Bill if he wants to." Um... why is he asking me if Bill can come out and play? Shouldn't that be something they discuss? I know I was the middleman at first, but, that time has past, and if they boys want to play, they should just do it.

M.I.A.

At a gathering tonight I was asked, "Where were you on Monday night?" The questioner had a smirk on her face indicating she had a pretty good idea where I was.

"Oh," I said, "Bill and I hung out."

"That's what I thought!" she declared triumphantly.

"You missed me? There were, like, 80 people there. How'd you notice I wasn't there?"

"Oh, I looked for you."

Nice to know you're missed. Really nice.

Swarm

Monday night Bill and I ended up hanging out rather than me going to FHE. However, I needed to pick something up from a friend so I asked him if he minded if we swung by church. He was ok with that so we did. And then I asked him if he wanted to come in.

In we went.

And we were swarmed.

After about 4 or 5 introductions I mentally hoped that he wasn't feeling overwhelmed. At one point the socially awkward guy who (disturbingly) has a massive thing for me (it's a trend, I don't know why they all seem to suction cup themselves to me) asked me, "Oh, is this InternBill?" (He actually used the phrase 'InternBill'). I ignored the question and said, instead, "This is George." (Oh, you probably don't remember this but though I call him InternBill his real name is George (naturally neither of these are really his name, but, yeah)).

"Is this 'InternBill'?" he repeated.

"This is George." I stated yet again.

I think he asked for a third time and finally I said, "Yes."

"Oh," or brilliant henchman replied, "I thought you called him InternBill."

I really, really, really, wanted to crawl under a rock and die from shear mortification. When we got back to the car I said by way of explanation, "He has a huge thing for me, so I make a point when he's around to talk about every guy I ever spend time with. A lot."

I'm not sure he believed me.

Personal Trainer

My gym gave me two free sessions with a personal trainer when I signed up. A couple of weeks ago I decided it was time I took them up on that. I worked out with this trainer last week, and set up an appointment for Monday.

Monday morning I was there bright and early and he was nowhere to be seen. I decided to just get started and when he showed up we could work out from wherever I was. I was finishing up when he showed up. We rescheduled for this morning. Once again, I was there and he wasn't. So, I decided to just do my thing and when he showed up, fine. He showed up 20 minutes late this time.

I would have yelled at him, but it turns out that he bought a gym, and isn't going to be working at mine anymore. Lovely. So, my two free work outs were with a trainer who won't even be sticking around. Which means if I want to try another trainer I'm going to have to pay for my first trial sessions. Excellent.

I Hate My New Neighbors

and their stupid dog.

and the fact that the stupid dog has to get walked every 2 hours.

and that those walks pause outside my bedroom window.

Insert Stupid Idiom Here

Bill was lamenting about a personal problem earlier this evening (the aforementioned conversation). Things had entered the stage where I wasn't sure what to say, so I went with, "Luckily for you, I'm still here. The amazing female friend with all the lame benefits and almost none of the good ones."

He didn't laugh. The travesty is—that's very much how I feel. It's like he thinks of me as his girlfriend in every aspect but the ones that involve snuggling, cuddling, or making out.

(Oh, and the idiom in question: have your cake and eat it, too.)

In Other News

What is Bill doing sending me text messages when he's out at a show with his buddy? Shouldn't he be, oh, I dunno, watching the show? Or trying to scam on some new chick? Or seeking comfort from his friend? It's messages in times like this that make a girl wonder what he is thinking about. He's told me he wants to stay just friends, but he's not acting like it.

Emotional Train Wreck?

Bill is quite possibly one of the most emotionally driven men I have ever met (straight or gay, so there!).

Earlier this evening we had been talking earlier and he declared himself in an un-chipper mood. Never fear, though, he was planning on going out to a show with a college buddy of his. From the club I received a number of text messages. The down mood earlier combined with messages when he was supposed to be out having fun with a friend pardon, but what the?, well, that just lead me to conclude that he was having some issues. I tried to get him to talk about what's bothering him, but he stoically declared, "I'm fine." Great. Next thing you know I'm going to be getting messages that say, "Don't worry about it." Followed closely by, "You should know what's wrong."

As It Turns Out

My 'smile for the camera'-smile sucks.

Bad.

Also I Hate This Crap

Yes, I did it. Look for more disappointed updates in the future. Perhaps distant future.

Self Loathing

Singles' Web sites. Yet another way of reminding the unattached that they are so desperately just that.

Tonight I sit here flipping between blogger and match.com . Why? Well, maybe because the guy I've been crushing on for a year has hooked up with two random chicks in as many weekend. Maybe because I'm tired of being single. Maybe it has something to do with the three years of no nookie I've been lucky enough to experience.

Any way you look at it, I'm still flipping between a stupid singles' site and my blog. Maybe I should just bite the bullet and sign up. I've done them before and went on a few dates. But, really, how many miserable first dates with complete strangers should one have to suffer before throwing in the towel?

Oh, and an LDS singles' site—right out. I'd rather find a nice Mormon boy on a non-LDS dominated site. Why? Um.... less buttoned up and more liberal, maybe. Hopefully? Or, maybe I'm just lying to myself.

Musings for a Sunday Morning

This morning I was reading a woman's assessment of her mother—well, to be fair, an assessment of one aspect of her mother. The discussion was on how her mother frequently would wake up to random strangers strewn throughout her house, and, while she'd smile politely during introductions, she would then take her daughter to the bedroom and yell, "Dirtbag Mike?! I have to wake up to Dirtbag Mike!?"

This gave me pause for thought. I'm not sure my mother ever woke up to a litany of people including Dirtbag Mike, but I know how she would have reacted. Rather than yelling about waking up to Dirtbag Mike, Mumsy would have reached for the skillet and simply asked how he likes his eggs. While I don't believe we ever had this take place I'm pretty positive that's how she should have reacted (my dad, on the other hand, probably would have been hollering about Dirtbag Mike). How can I be so certain? Well, simply put, Mumsy was, herself, responsible for all sorts of things getting dragged into our home, car, lives. For example, I went camping for a week, and upon my return learned of the two random German women who had stayed at our house for a couple of nights. Not just in our house, no, in my bed. Other times we would be driving and she would see random high school students who were, shall we say, 'more alternative looking' than the usual small town high schoolers (she always assumed they were Wolf's friends, and sometimes they were). Pulling over to offer them rides I can still hear her asking the important question before letting them into our car, "You don't have any drugs or weapons on you, do you?" I don't think any of them ever answered 'yes'. Like they would have. She even went so far as to pick up hitchhiking hippies. I remember that one fondly, they smelled deeply of weed, patchouli, and body odor. When they offered us jerked seaweed she thanked them sweetly and turned down the gift. I'm forever thankful that was a warm day, for the windows were down the duration of their ride, as well as the next 30 miles.

Honestly, I can hardly wait until I'm married and can start bringing home random strangers—as a single woman living alone in this day and age, it's just not safe. And, while my mother may have raised a tree huggin', twigs and sticks eatin', dirty hippie, she didn't raise no fool.

Burke-Gilman Trail

The course picked today was flat. Well, mostly flat.

We rode on the Burke-Gilman Trail from Gas Works Park to the Ballard Locks and back. All total, about 7 miles.

Because it was so flat it was also really easy. We kind of tooled around, and just hung out. Nothing terribly strenuous. I was really glad it was a longer ride, and less hills. I really need to work on both hills and distance, but I get hills with Bill. We'll see what skills I work on more this week.

Oh! I also really need to learn to signal.

At one point on the ride I geared up to my highest gear and just speeded away. It was really fun! I was going pretty fast, though, probably not as fast as I think I was. I got lots of complements on how much I didn't suck from the people I was with, which was quite nice.

Sunday marks the 3 week anniversary with me and the bike. I can't believe all the things I'm doing with it. I almost tried to stand up and pedal simultaneously today, but I chickened out. Scary scary!

New Group?

At the party Friday night there was some discussion on bike riding—seems to be my current favorite topic. One woman suggested that we go bike riding Saturday. I readily agreed, so we exchanged phone numbers, and she said she'd call to coordinate.

Wow, that was quick acceptance into their circle.

Assumptions

Friday night found me with two invites out. One with the normal group of Mormon people (Sine, et al), and one to a party at Cyclist's place. I decided to do dinner with Sine, skip the movie, and head over to the party in downtown.

It seems to me that all the Mormon kids do is dinner and a moive—there's lots to be said for variety.

The party was pretty fun, very chill. After about an hour or so a very pressing question occurred to one of the women who had been at the previous pie party. "Hey Granola," she said, capturing the attention of all 7 guests, "where's your boy?"

"Well, first he's not my boy. And second, he's at another party with his sister."

There was a chorus of "Oh? You're not dating? I thought you were!?" Which launched us into a big-huge discussion on how we're not dating, and how he doesn't want to date me. And, most importantly, how I should tell him that I'm interested in him. Where by 'us' I mean: the entire party.

I asked why they thought we were together and one said body language. The initial questioner even said that if we weren't dating she thought that at least one of us was interested. Another woman concurred, but indicated that she thought it was him who was the most interested. Her reasoning? He seemed to be "puppy dogging" me the whole evening—looking to me for social cues, or what to do next. As if I were the dominant one in the relationship. Interesting. I'm not sure I understand exactly what she means.

The final assessment was: I need to tell him how I feel, and they don't believe me that he's not interested.

Live Pose

Last week I asked Bill if he would sit for me so I could draw him. Predictably he asked "why?"

Aside from your smokin' body?!?!

"Well," I actually replied, "of all my friends you're the one most likely to actually do it, and I think you have interesting lines that I'd like to draw."

Understandably he was a bit hesitant. We discussed how it would be a shirtless affair (um, drawing the figure is kind of hard through a t-shirt). He laughed and told me that had I asked him a week ago he would have been all for it, but he just put on, like, 6 pounds which he feels he needs to lose before he wants me drawing him. Fair 'nough. But, really, six pounds? Don't eat one day. Well, it's not that easy, but he's really active, I'm surprised he's making a big deal about so little.

Sunday on our bike ride he made reference to his need to lose this weight, and I said, "Oh? Is it for me?" A fact which he confirmed. Ok, so you'll let some strange chick into your bed, but you won't let your best friend see you without a shirt on? I'm sensing some vanity issues. Oh, oddly, though, he wants me to give him a henna on his shoulder blade. Someone should tell the boy that that will require him to be topless in my presence for at least an hour!

Apparently he's really bothered by this weight gain, because he mentioned it twice today. I don't really know what to tell him, it's not like I'm an expert on weight loss.

Take This Job and Shovle It!!

(That would be Demolition Man)

Today Cyclist attempted to quit. When I say 'attempted' I mean he gave our boss his two weeks notice, and then our boss talked him into thinking about it. I hope he sticks around. I can't do this job without friends! He also told our boss that "anyone who is remotely good on this team is teetering on the edge of quitting." The response from the man in charge of this here suck-train: "I know."

I wish I were brave enough to walk out without having a backup plan.

Cookie Time

Today for our afternoon break we went to a coffee shop to grab some beverages and possibly a cookie. I opted for cookie. I asked the nice barista for one oatmeal raisin cookie, and paid her. As I was picking up my sack I felt not one, but TWO cookies. "Wait a minute..." I said with a hint of 'I've been tricked' in my voice, "I see what's going on here!" She laughed, "We're trying to get rid of them for the day!"

These bad boys are huge. I can barely eat one, no way I was going to attempt two! I offered cookie to everyone else, but no one was biting (har har, see what I did there? Yeah, I shouldn't blog at this hour), so I had to find an alternative victim on whom to foist my cookie unsuspectingly.

Predictably, that victim took the form of Bill. I offered him cookie, and he demanded to know what type professing, "I'm on a diet! I need to loose those 6-10 pounds I've been trying to shave off!" (um, more on this in a moment).

I told him, and suggested that he could split it with his office mate. "Hmm... oatmeal raisin, that sounds healthy," he said crumbling under my oppressive cookie offer.

"You could delude yourself into believing that," I replied with a smirk.

They split it. And they liked it!

Dirty Filthy No Good Liar

Mumsy and I are putting on this convention in September, as you know. We're very excited for it, but there hasn't been much talk on her boards. So last night she declared that I needed to join one of her forums as a newbie with a name that wouldn't be traced back to her and set myself up to be told about the convention.

Dutifully (and selfishly—I need this thing to succeed!) I did just that.

And now I have a new friend on the list. I feel terrible keeping up my facade, but I can't tell her the truth. There's a set of important rules I learned long ago about lying:
1. don't do it.
2. if ya gotta do it, tell as much truth as you can.
3. stick to crap you know and can fudge about with well—don't make yourself out to be an expert in an area about which you know nothing.

Seems like great advice. One minor problem, my new friend moved from Seattle, so she's bound to know people and places and could very well blow my cover story unintentionally! Zoinks!!

Irksome

While plans were being rearrange for this evening, I was sitting in Bill's car eavesdropping. He was clearly annoyed with his sister's selfish antics (which I shan't go into, but suffice it to say: she came to town to visit him and would, apparently, rather hang out with an old childhood friend). At one point he was expressing his frustration at the lack of planning that has happened regarding this camping trip. "Frankly," he said frustratedly, "I feel like I'm being pulled in all sorts of directions, and nothing is happening. You're pulling me one way, and YourFriend is pulling me one way, and my friend is here pulling me another way!"

In all honesty, his words stung. First off, since he announced that we were going to go camping with his sister I've been leery of the whole thing, and after the sorority camping trip that was apparently planned, I have offered to just bow out and we can go camping some other time. So, dragging me into the conversation with "my friend is here pulling me another way," just kind of rubbed me the wrong way. Hell, I told him I would back out gracefully if the drinking party was the way things were headed. But, more than that, (and I know it's kind of ridiculous), but his choice of words were really what hurt. He couldn't have said, "my friend, Granola, is..." no. Rather he had to go for a vague a reference to me as humanly possible.

My sister, Wolf, thinks I'm reading too much into it. I'm not fully convinced that I am. I mean, we've been friends for over a year. Surely at some point he's had cause to mention me—especially since we spend so much freaking time together. Guess not. I suppose I'm just one of the many women in his life who he just happens upon.

The Anticipated Update

Dinner tonight was canceled. Well, not canceled canceled. Bill and his sister decided it would be just the two of them.

Which means no planning tonight.

Which means no camping on Friday.

Sometimes I really hate being right.

Surpised as You

Surprising as it is: Bill hooking up with some other chick this weekend hasn't negatively impacted my desire to date him. I know it should, but there's a massive disconnect between my hormones and my brain.

Brilliantly, he has reassured me that he just wants to be friends. I am bothered that I still hope.

Buttons!

Sunday afternoon I showed up at Bill's place, where we hung out for a few minutes before heading out to go on our weekly bike ride. I was talking to him, and then my eyes were drawn to his neck. Or, more specifically, the new bruise on his neck. The mouth-sized bruise on his neck!

Mid-whatever it was he was saying I said, "Do you have a hickey!?"

"Yeah," he replied, embarrassed, which well he should be. A hickey! It thus became my duty to mock him for it. Turns out he met a very nice young woman at a party the night before. Charming. Out of niceness I told him there exist some herbs that he can put on it to reduce the effects of the bruise. He asked if we could please go pick some up. When we got to the pharmacy they were closing for the day, so we had to rush. Not finding any of what we were looking for I glanced another product. "You know what would help?" I called across the short aisles.

"What?" came his desperate plea.

"This," I said with a smirk in my voice as I held aloft... preparation H!

We decided to pick some up. As his purchase was being rung up I imagined what must have going through the mind of the cashier. There we were, guy and girl, buying preparation H. He clearly had a hickey, but I was making him make the purchase, and laughing the whole while. Either way she must have concluded that we are extremely close.

As is my duty, I continued to tease him throughout the day. At one point he threatened, "If you keep that up I'm not going to try to hide it, and I'll tell everyone at work that you're responsible for it!"

Giggling, I replied, "Go for it! I'll play right along."

He wisely thought better of his threat. But, Monday at work I knew he was going to have issues hiding his new "love bite." Early in the morning I popped into his office to see his efforts. He was wearing a collared shirt, with one too many buttons done up (the second to the top button, which was oddly high). "Nice shirt!" I said with a smirk, "it has so many buttons!" Dutifully, he blushed and thanked me. We got up and left the room, and once out of earshot of his colleagues I busted out laughing.

Today he didn't even try hiding it. Now I'm certain that everyone thinks I'm responsible. Oh, I wish I were.

PS, she's apparently, "not a keeper." Yay!

Color and Vibrancy

Bill told me over dinner on Sunday that I seem to have more color and vibrancy. I looked at him like he had sprouted another head and said, "What? I'm all sweaty and gross." So he amended his comments: around the office I seem to have more color and vibrancy, "not now, because you're all sweaty and gross." Um, thanks?

I asked him why he thought that was and he said because I'm exercising. I told him that I've been going to the gym since before he got back in town, so I'm not sure that's the case. Rather, I'm of the opinion that scientists and doctors alike call that 'color and vibrancy' a sunburn—or maybe two sunburns.

Going the Distance

Sunday afternoon brought another bike ride with Bill. This time we rode from the International District to Belltown and back. Roughly 4 miles, and quite the hill.

I was really pleased with how well I did, only swerving into traffic once. Scary. This time Bill was in front of me, but looking back at me. As I swerved he yelled out "NO!!" Yeah, NO!! is right! Good to know he's worried about my safety.

Oh, and the hill down from Belltown to the International District: way fun!

The boys (which comprise Bill and Cyclist) agree with me that I'm probably ready to ride from my place to the little village on the island and back (3 miles round trip, but there's a hill involved). I was going to attempt that today, but the weather was sprinkling a bit, and I'm not confident enough that I want to be caught in a rain storm.

After I make that trek enough times that I'm comfortable (oh, and learn how to freaking signal) I'm going to ride to Bill's place. That's 6 miles, and a bit daunting still, but this is a goal I've made for myself. Oh, and if I can't bear to ride back I'll make him take me home. :) See, good plan, no?

Camping!

Theoretically, Bill and his sister and (apparently) his sister's best friend and the best friend's boyfriend and I are going camping this weekend. We'll see if that actually comes to fruition.

Reasons why I'm a little concerned for this-here trip:
1. He mentioned to the best friend that we should all go camping. She thinks this is a great idea and has (he believes) become quite the outdoors woman, so she though she was supposed to plan it. Her current plan? Toss a bunch of beer in the car and drive up to nowhere and drink for two nights straight.

2. His sister is quite prissy—so much so that if we actually succeed in backpacking Bill will be carrying her gear.

3. His sister is excited to go camping. My fear (based on point 2) is, it has everything to do with point 1.

4. Not to harp on point 1, but anyone who thinks camping should involve numerous cases of beer and a big fire is not (a) really as outdoorsy as she wants to believe; and (b) someone I really want to camp with.

5. Bill's backpacking/camping experience totals well under a month—all amassed earlier this summer.

6. To combine points 2, 4, and 5: that means I have 3-4 inexperience (or only moderately experienced) campers, and only one me. Those ratios aren't particularly in my favor. Babysitting 1 or 2 is hard enough by yourself, but 3 or 4? That's going to be a challenge.

7. Bill expressed to me his desire to plan this trip, so I have done nothing (save replace my first aid kit (150 bucks, thankyouverymuch, but I got stuff I shouldn't have to replace anytime soon (with any measure of luck)).

8. My moon is scheduled to start Saturday. If it starts on time we'll hiking in the back country. At this point I don't know if I want it to start early (like, tomorrow) or chance it that the strenuous backpacking will slip me a day or two. Either way, I am planning ahead, but still...fun! Though, I have backpacked on my moon before, so I'll be fine.

9. I lost all my gear at my last move, and have to beg, borrow, or rent gear. Since we haven't planned anything yet I don't have a list of what we're in need of. If we get it all timed right I might be ok to get everything together on Thursday. If. Oh, and extra people means extra gear. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to borrow it all.

10. I don't care how nice Bill is: I'm not carrying other people's gear. They want to sleep in a tent, they can help carry.

We're all going to dinner tomorrow night to plan. I'll let you know.

The Girl He Wants

I think I've come to the conclusion that Bill is trying to make me into the girl he wants. Which is ridiculous, because I'm not really going to change all that much, and most likely not for him.

How have I come to this conclusion: he is overly excited when I want to do things like go running or bike riding, and the like (Let's be honest here—his fitness level is leap and bounds above mine. He's going to start training to climb Mt. Rainer. I'm training to run a 5k, not on the elliptical). Oh, and he was way too enthusiastic about the suggestion that I go to my high school reunion dressed like a yuppie. Way too enthusiastic. Like, to the point where he said, "Yes! Let's go shopping!!" (Exclamation marks were used. Multiple. I promise.)

Which brings us back to: why won't he date me, yet he'll try to mold me into his ideal girl? What?

Magical List

Mumsy told me Tuesday that she has come to the conclusion that her body has decided that she's vegan. I was thrilled! (only 3 years of harassing and teasing and cajoling.) She did this by sending me a link to a cookbook she found that looked interesting, and the declaration that I could get it for her for Christmas.

So I got her Christmas in August. I also bought her another vegan cookbook which I've had my eye on for a while. I figured if it rocked I could buy it for myself, and if she didn't like it I could just take it with me, and if it's that bad, well, I'm out only 15 bucks. Oh, and I didn't tell her I was getting them for her.

This afternoon I got a very excited phone call. Mumsy told me that she got home and saw she had a package and thought to herself, "I didn't order anything from them." Then, upon opening it up, she discovered her cool surprises! She flipped through the cookbooks, and ended up being a little late for some appointment because she was having too much fun looking. I jokingly asked her where those came from, and how could I get magic books delivered to my door for free. We decided that there's a list, a super secret and ultra-exclusive list that you have to be on in order for that to happen.

Later I was talking to her while she and my dad were out and about. From the background he informed me that any books having anything to do with facepainting or clowning could find their way to his door and he wouldn't complain. Mumsy told me that she told him about the list. Then she promptly told him that he isn't on it.

Honestly, I wouldn't recognize a good clowning book if it had a big red nose on it.

Insinuations

Lying there on the table, face down, completely naked, I'm casually talking with the massage therapist about the bruises on my lower legs. I explain that they're from learning to ride a bike. Then, laughingly, I tell her, "I'm a walking catastrophe! I think my doctor thinks I am a battered spouse, since I show up with the most random injuries and corresponding stories!"

She chuckles, then asks, "Do you at least have one to give a hard time to about them?"

"What, a spouse?" I ask a little confused.

"Yeah, or, like a partner, or something..." she trails off, avoiding getting gender specific.

"No," I say, totally neglecting to specify gender either. She finishes my massage and we never go back to the question of my gender preference.

Great. Now she thinks I'm gay. That's flipping awesome.

Offer? Oh, Yeah

This morning my old boss from BigNameCompany sent me an im. Apparently HR from the company I interviewed with last week had called him yesterday and asked for a reference (I asked him before hand if I could use him). He told me he said glowing things about me, which was really nice to hear. He also told them he'd hire me again without hesitation. Which is excellent, since he's the one who laid me off two and a half years ago. I knew the reference would be good, and I knew it was important to put him on there since "being laid off" can so easily be a cop out.

This afternoon, as anticipated, they called to give me the offer. I didn't answer the phone (hey, I was busy), but the message said the usual stuff then, "I am calling to discuss your job offer." I didn't have a chance to call her back, but, that's an offer if I ever heard one.

I have to call her back tomorrow and thank her for the offer, but politely decline. I am curious what their offer would be, though. Hmm... Oh yeah, too bad I don't want to stay in Seattle.

Attitude Issues

I've now snapped at Bill twice—in two days.

Yesterday it was about going camping. We made tentative plans, providing the girl he wanted to ask out didn't say yes. He didn't get a hold of her, so I tried to pin him down for some more solid plans.

He said he couldn't go until Saturday afternoon at the earliest. Well, I'm sorry, but I nearly never take a Sunday off, and if I do, I'm certainly not going to waste it on a 1.5 (if we're lucky) day camping trip. Thanks, I'd rather go to church. So, I told him as much (and, honestly, in a similar tone). Then I provided solutions to take care of the things he was going to have to do Saturday morning. He essentially said that he would just rather take care of them on Saturday. Fine, but we're not going camping. So, I offered to take Cyclist's oncall for the weekend (which, it turns out he no longer needs, so that's nice). I ended up quickly apologizing for jumping down his throat, but really, I can't be all nice all the time. I have to stick up for what irks me.

Today it was about him marking his territory, though I didn't say it in so many words. We were talking about me maybe taking a job elsewhere. I told him I wasn't going to take the proffered job, to which he replied, "good." I asked him if he had a prepared list of reasons why I shouldn't. I was told, "No list, I'm here, that's reason enough." This is the second time this week he's said that, so I replied with "Oh, I didn't realize I have to plan my life around you." I continued, "Maybe if we were dating that would have some sway, but were not, so sorry, dude, you're out of luck." We were able to joke out of that one, but I really felt like he is trying to have his cake and eat it too, and, I'm sorry, but I'm not his wing-chick.

I talked to Sine about how I feel about Bill 'marking his territory' as it were, and his brilliant words of comfort were, "We're guys. That's what guys do—mark their territory. Maybe you should figure out why he doesn't want to date you and work on that. This witty (I think he means sarcastic) approach doesn't seem to be getting you anywhere."

No, it sure doesn't. But, frankly, my retort wasn't witty—it was frustrated. So, maybe the conversation that needs to happen should really be: "Ok, so, I know I said I wasn't interested, but things have changed, and now I am. I know you don't reciprocate, that's fine—hell, that's life—but I can't be the girl that you talk with about other girls. Oh, and if you don't want me, you've got to stop behaving like we're together. You act as if you're marking your territory, and I'm not down with being peed all over." Yeah, something like that should go over swimmingly.

Conversation Train Bound for Painland

I've decided it's high time I tell Bill that I like him. I know that it's going to go nowhere, and the rejection is going to suck, but I'm tired of spending time with him that he thinks is just as friends, and my head says is just as friends, but my stupid emotions are screaming: "YES! THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT!!!"

Also, people out and about always assume we're together, and their comments to that affect are beginning to effect me. Tonight at REI one salesman said to another of us, "When you're finished with him, this couple over here needs your assistance." Technically a truism, but so not accurate it is kind of unpleasant.

Why, Thank You

This morning at the gym I came to a tragic realization: my $30 payless running shoes have seen their last 5k. I've been nursing them along for a while now, but as I was looking at the support where my insole had sunk I was forced to accept the fact that those shoes are finally done.

I also decided the other day that I might like having a bike rack on the back of my car—seems like it would be much easier than putting the bike in the car every time I take it to Seattle for a ride. I could be wrong, but it seems like it to me.

So, I asked Bill if he wanted to come with me to go spend money. Homeslice really likes spending money, so I knew he'd be in. Sure enough, he was. After work we went up to REI where I proceeded to get information about bike racks, and he got information about backpacking Mt. Rainer, and then I got running shoes. My super scientific measurements have determined that the new shoes are about 24.7 pound lighter than the payless brand. Which works out crazy well, because they're also about 3 times more expensive.

After spending way too much money, Bill suggested we get some dinner. So, off we went. At the end of our meal the server brought us the check. She placed it on the table next to Bill, and as she left I reached over and laid claim. I pulled out my wallet and put my card in the billfold. "Wha...? Thanks," was about all he got out of his mouth. "No problem," I said with a smile, "I think it's my turn." And, even if it wasn't, the fact that we've dined together a large number of times and this is only the second time I've paid, says it's about time.

The server picked up our check, and when she returned it initially went to place the book facing him. She quickly caught herself and switched it so the book was facing me. I love mixing things up sometimes. It can be quite fun.

Fun With Amazon

I was bored today, so I sent Bill the following two product pages on Amazon.com:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/1404236503 and http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000QM7AVO.

Don't worry. He didn't get it either. Now, read the titles. In case you still don't get it it says, "Let's go camping" "next weekend." Bwahahah! I'm so witty.

He told me maybe, on the condition that the girl he is asking out tonight (Jennifer) doesn't accept. Let's be honest here, he's a good looking cat, I doubt she'll say no. But, I had to reply with this beauty (I'll even make it easy for you this time):
Forget Her
I'm Better Than This
Jennifer
Girl.

For the record, that sentence took me WAY too long to find.

Though, it does present an interesting idea. Is it possible to make any sentence with just the titles from products on amazon.com? I do know that I had to mess around and change up the phrase to get one that would work. But, still, pretty clever, if I do say so myself.

Longest Ride, Yet

As it turns out, I'm not half shabby at bike riding. There are still a few things I really (really) need to learn—like standing up (for hills), and not swerving into traffic, and starting without needing to be on the seat, and, well, pretty much anything except going straight.

That said, Bill and I went on a nice long bike ride this afternoon. We went from his apartment to Pike Place Market. It was a nice, hard, ride. Oh, and it was 3.3 miles, for those keeping score. I did mostly really well, but a couple of times did some dumb things. Also, I freaked out a couple of times and was unable to get myself back in the zone for a few minutes after that. It was kind of scary, but all in all a good exercise. He's all about just jumping in and doing it. I, on the other hand, would probably be perfectly happy to just spin around the neighborhood a million more times. Well, that's not strictly true—I am getting a little bored of the same square block over and over again.

Bill asked me if I am keeping a log of how far I bike. I said no, and honestly, I can't imagine why I would. I think he's saying it out of encouragement. He was really good at encouraging me today. Well, both he and Cyclist are good encouragers. In all honesty, for riding a bike for one week, I'm actually quite happy with my progress so far.

Oh, and no spills, which has been really nice. Just a lot of getting intimately acquainted with my bike seat, if you know what I mean.

When we first started out Bill was in front of me hollering at me to "come on" and "hurry up!" I yelled back, "Yeah, yeah! I'm working on it! Shut up!"

The people crossing the street behind me laughed and one woman said, "You go girl! Tell him how it is!" I had to laugh at that one.

Later, as we were leaving Pike Place Market I accidentally swerved into traffic. It gave both of us (and the driver behind me) quite a fright. Bill said that I should go in the front and he'd stay behind me to keep traffic at bay. A few other encouraging words were uttered and I said, ok and headed off. The East Indian tourists who were standing at the side of the road took the opportunity to comment. She said, "Oh! What a great man you have! You're very lucky! Hang on to him!" Her husband, on the other hand, had much more practical (and applicable) advice to offer: "Remember, you only die once!"

The good news? Today wasn't that day.

Nearly

Last night when we were out there were 6 of us at a table. I was in the middle of the bench and he was on the outside. He was sitting kind of awkwardly not fully on the bench. I told him if he wanted to sit more on the bench he could scoot in. He turned and practically laid on me. My arm was in the way, so I took it from under him and wrapped it around him to rest my hand on his opposite shoulder. That felt really good, natural, and comfortable. Unfortunately, it felt too much of all of those three, because...

After the movie tonight Bill and I walked into an elevator. I nearly wrapped my arms around his waist in a standing snuggle-hug. Nearly. My brain kicked in and stopped me right before things could have gotten awkward. I have no idea how he would have responded, but I doubt it would have been good for me.

Busy Day

This morning I started out the day by taking a spin on my bike. I did two laps, as planned. And, managed to make it all the way up one hill with no problems—TWICE, and the bigger hill all the way once, and most of the way the second time. I'm getting better, and it's so exciting to feel myself progress!

After my bike ride I took a shower and headed over to the Church. A bunch of us were meeting on the island to go watch the Blue Angels performance. We walked from the church building, into town, and then to a park on the far side of the island. All-in-all, a 3 mile jaunt each way, from my place. I left my place at 11, and got back at 3:30, and had barely had an opportunity to sit down. So, I was on my feet for 4.5 hours. I wasn't quite in any shape to go biking this evening, despite the plans I had made with Cyclist and Bill.

I called Bill to see what the plan was anyway. He told me he was at the liquor store buying alcohol so he could host some parties at his place. He asked if I wanted to go help him pick out flatware and dinnerware later. We decided to do that and scrap biking. The trek was fine, and while we were out I got a text from Sine asking if I wanted to do dinner and a movie with a group of people. I invited Bill, and we decided to do that.

This time Sine didn't threaten Bill with bodily harm, so I think we're making progress.

During the movie Bill got a phone call which he returned as we were leaving the theater. It was an invite to an intern house party. He extended the invite my way, and when I declined asked if I would be bothered if he went. As if I have any say over his activities. I told him to go along and have fun.

In all honesty it almost felt like he was asking my permission to go. I'm certain he was really just trying to not offend by dropping me off and heading out, rather than coming in and talking.

Night On the Town

Cyclist invited Bill and me to go to the improv with him and some friends Friday night. It was quite hilarious, naturally.

I was talking to Bill before hand and he asked me if I would drive, as he had enjoyed a glass of wine at the office before heading home, and then a beer with dinner. On the drive up to the show I asked him why he had me drive if he had had so little to drink over the span of 5 hours. He said, "I wouldn't have a problem with it, but I know you do, and I respect that." Yeah, he really is that great.

After the show everyone decided that they wanted to go to a bar and grab a few drinks. Bill was ready to send me on my way, but Cyclist and his roommate had ridden their bikes, and there was no way I was going to abandon him on the complete opposite side of town. So, off to the bar we went. They had one round of drinks, and we sat around and talked for a while before heading out.

Turns out Bill holds his liquor. He was a little silly, but not drunk. Thank goodness. Honestly, I wish he would give up his drinking.

Pies. No, Really

This has been an interesting week.

My coworker, Cyclist (of the bike, and paintings stories), invited Bill and me to a 'pie' party on Thursday. We decided to bake our pies together, since Bill had never made one before. Wednesday night we did just that. It was quite fun!

Thursday brought the party. We had an impromptu pie contest—one of our pies won! The other one took third place. It was all in good fun, but Cyclist groused and complained about it half the day Friday.

He also felt the need to harass me about the fact that we won. At our afternoon break he felt the need to refer to Bill as my "boyfriend" when relating this story to our other coworker. I vehemently denied any such relationship. "Let me ask you just one thing," he said, waiting expectantly for me agreement, "did you cook those pies separately?" I tried to get out of the corner they had painted me into, but, finally, I just succumbed and took the teasing, and allowed myself to turn bright red.